The Wrighter’s Block Episode 58 – Jonathan Realz Gets Wrighter’s Block

The Wrighter's Block

Jonathan Realz is a current candidate for US Congress. Before his birth, a prophecy foretold of a child who would grow up to take over the Libertarian Party. Determined not to let this happen, the Menu Eaters devised a plan that resulted in Jonathan’s parents being murdered. Jonathan was then raised by the Shoney Bear, who instilled in him the values of free choice, personal responsibility, and buffets.

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Episode Transcript

This episode transcript is auto-generated and a provided as a service to the hearing impaired. We apologize for any errors or inaccuracies.

cause if there’s room enough for one
there must be
from the
when my hiding place is
don’t bother swimming to save me i will
only drag you
to convince the whole
welcome everybody to a brand new
thursday evening with yours truly it is
me matt
wright and you are here on the writer’s
block of muddied waters media
production thank you all for spending
thursday evening with me uh it is truly
humbling that
all of you choose to spend today with me
uh as opposed to
one of the many other things you could
be doing because uh
there’s a lot of things you could be
doing out there and i appreciate that
you’re not doing
any of them to be here with me
first and foremost allow me to thank the
wonderful and fantastic people
at if you are one of the
people out there who have not tried the
libertarian kool-aid go
to get some of this hippie moonshine
uh to them and to all of you out there i
say bulavanaka
this episode like all of the others is
brought to you by a litany of people
starting with the libertarian party
waffle house caucus the fastest
growing caucus in the libertarian party
i’m gonna say that again the libertarian
party waffle house caucus is the fastest
growing caucus
and now the second largest caucus in the
libertarian party
so something that started out as
a a joke a place to share pictures of
waffles and
donkeys is now the second largest second
largest caucus in the libertarian party
if you want to become a member of the
libertarian party waffle house caucus
all you have to do is go to
and pick yourself up a waff libertarian
party waffle house caucus button if you
want to be a voting member get yourself
shirt which is weird because we don’t
actually vote on anything
mudwater the most aptly named
product to ever advertise on this show
mudwater is a coffee alternative made
with masala chai cacao mushrooms
turmeric sea salt cinnamon
and that is it and it tastes exactly
like what you think
that combination of things would taste
if you put them into water hot water
and blended it really hard tastes
exactly like that
trust me add honey go to to make the switch
from coffee to mud water today
this episode is brought to you by the
gravy king this episode is brought to
you by fierce
luxury fierce luxury is a high-end bag
and accessory consignment store based
they carry the hottest brand like louis
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gucci and hermes that is pronounced
hermes for anybody who doesn’t know that
i had to work on that
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uh consigned with them for a 30 fee
which is 20 percent
less than most consignment stores uh but
according to my notes here i don’t know
how true that is but i’m going to
i’m going to believe ashley because
ashley would not lie to me and that
means she wouldn’t lie to you
you can find them online at fiercely by
and on facebook in their exclusive group
fierce luxury
by ashley this episode is brought to you
by tonight’s guest
jonathan reals i meant to hold on to
this one for a little bit
he needs uh 350 for outreach and
so during this show i am going to be uh
sending you the uh
the the website the website uh and everybody give him
money because he needs money to become a
real boy
because jonathan reals wants to be a
real boy like pinocchio this episode is
brought to you by jack
casey jack casey is the author of two
the royal green and in silver throne his
third book crowned by gold
is going to be coming out like tomorrow
if it doesn’t come out tomorrow
you can just give chris personal injury
attorney chris reynolds attorney at law
a call and he will sue jack casey for
uh i’m wondering what crown by gold is
going to have on the cover since he has
a vomiting ring and a butterfly with an
erection for the other two
so if i was just taking a random guess
right now off the top of my head it
would be a crown with pornographic
images on it
but they’d be like hidden on there
that’s just if i’m just
shooting from the hip that is my guess
for what’s going to be on that because
that seems like the type of thing jack
casey would throw up on a book
uh this episode is also brought
to you by cumberland cannabis co
uh cumberland cannabis co they are
a fantastic tennessee cbd company uh
if you want to find out what tennessee
cbd is
you should check out
and uh just you know do you know what
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you know what that stuff does this is
adderpan uh do you want to have the ever
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this episode is brought to you by joe
soloski for pennsylvania governor he is
the key to pennsylvania’s success if you
live in the pennsylvania region
of these united states
vote for joe solaski not the other one
vote for joe soloski
and he will make pennsylvania great
you all i am so excited about tonight’s
tonight’s episode
uh very happy to finally get jonathan
reels on
a lot of people know this but he is a
of a competing caucus
he is a member of a competing caucus and
we are here to set the record straight
on how it is with the waffle house
caucus and the shony’s caucus
but always remember that this man
did a fantastic job at playing
a very evil character on the walking
and he also seemed to have stalked a
comedian around the country for a year
and we’re going to get into all of that
but he’s also running for congress so
without further ado
let me thank jonathan realtor
hi thanks for having me hey great to
have you on man
how are you wow you have your show
you are ready look at you with your
shonies bear and everything
the best i got is uh i’ve got my jewish
hang on my i feel like am i backwards
i’m backwards aren’t i
you are backwards i’m not backwards
boom yep i i have my jewish narwhal
that’s right here
right here next to me matt i i
appreciate you having me on
um trying to establish a level of party
unity uh
with our two feuding caucuses that’s
true um we don’t get a lot of party
unity between caucuses right now and i
feel no
this is not at all this is the bridge
this is this is the gap that can bridge
the uh other caucuses
into a unity um so
a little back story where i grew up
there wasn’t waffle house and i went to
shoney’s often
so you want to join our caucus then no
god no because i’ve been to waffle house
now and
while i do appreciate the breakfast
buffet and there aren’t enough breakfast
buffets on the cheap anywhere anymore
right uh waffle house is still a much
alternative for breakfast food than
but but how do you but those french
toast sticks were so
they were so good when i was eight years
yeah they’re i mean they’re still good
now and the thing is
is i mean i’m assuming that you probably
like bacon
right i love bacon yeah i love some
bacon yeah and you can so you get
you get four pieces of bacon at waffle
you can get all the bacon you ever that
your heart desires at sony’s it’s
menus are status matte
but shoney’s has a menu like your
they have a menu but no one uses it
it’s there as an option in case any
status come in
it’s a trout that’s how they they figure
out if
if you really know what you’re doing
when you’re coming to show me that’s
i get i get very upset whenever i see
someone look at the menu i’m like oh
first time
what a loser the only reason i’ve ever
looked at a menus at shoni’s was to see
how much the buffet had gone up in price
it’s still pretty freaking cheap is it
what is it now yeah
we don’t have a chance anywhere near me
now so i have no clue
it’s like 5.99
it’s insane i used to when so we used to
uh every sunday after church when i was
growing up and um
they uh i would always get the eggs and
i would put that
fake cheese sauce all over the eggs and
then i would do
like a yeah it was like in just a ton of
bacon and then the french toast sticks
and just
douse them with syrup and the fact that
i don’t have diabetes is amazing
um everyone knows that that it’s
special at shonies you can’t catch
diabetes from ashoni
it’s it’s like you go in there’s like a
diabetes force field
right diabetes um my
so at the shoneys in dothan alabama i’m
assuming dothan has at least
sure probably it does okay um
do they do the uh do they still do the
coloring contests for kids there
i am not certain if they do
i have not seen i’ve not seen that so
but to be fair to be fair i i barely
ever see a child at shonies anymore
um i feel like uh
everyone they’re all at waffle house
that’s that’s possible but i feel like
everyone uh
that’s under the age of 40 um
they forgot that shoney’s existed right
like you have this like buried childhood
memory of like going on family vacation
or something or going after
church on sunday and it’s there in your
head but like you drive past shony’s all
the time
people all the time drive past johnny’s
here and they’re like oh i didn’t think
it was still open i thought it closed 20
years ago
and i’m like no it’s never closed it’s
still there
and it’s still just as cheap as it ever
was yeah the one in my hometown
in uh manassas virginia they definitely
they closed years ago
i’m pretty certain i think it became a
chipotle if i’m
not mistaken um but yeah like they
closed a long time ago and i was always
i was like man i miss shony’s because
there wasn’t a waffle house there either
so like i just had no chain restaurant
breakfast restaurants that i could go to
anymore well come on down to dothan
and we’ll go we’ll go to shonies and
we’ll do it right
we’ll go we’ll go at um 10 30 in the
morning of course so that way
that way you can get the breakfast bar
and then at 11 they’re gonna bring in
so now you get lunch and it’s all
included and then we’ll take a nap in
the booth
and we’ll wait and we’ll wait until they
put out the seafood buffet at night
and then boom we’re done we’ve had the
best day ever
that that would make multiple caucuses
the only caucus that wouldn’t be happy
is the waffle house caucus um
you know i will i will take you up on
this and visit you in dothan alabama one
time because
as you said because i have heard so much
about dothan throughout my life which is
a weird sentence to say out loud
um and you guys are the boiled peanut
capital of the world i believe
we’re the peanut capital of the world oh
the people all peanuts
all peanuts we’ve got boiled we’ve got
roasted we’ve got them all
got them raw
my favorite thing about dothan is uh
this weird tradition that we have where
the city pretends that they don’t notice
that there’s
that they’re wheeling out a giant penis
to hang above uh
the city square for new year’s
um yeah i i i swear look it up
just like google dothan alabama new
penis you’re gonna find you’re gonna
and everybody is they talk about it
everybody acknowledges it like
all over social media it’s been going on
for like 10 years they’re like quit
look at what you’re doing this is not
this doesn’t look like a peanut what are
you doing
and they they call it the nut drop
and it’s the city just ignores it and
they have to know
they absolutely yeah because so you and
i were actually we were talking online
a couple of months ago when i found out
you were from dothan and i said i know
two things about dothan they’re
the boiled peanut capital of the world
and they have a condom factory
and then you told me about the uh the
nut drop
and so i had to i of course i had to
look this up because
it sounded just fake like it sounded too
good to be real
so it had to be fake and i was like no
this is this is a hundred percent real
um and that thing does not look like a
no no no no it doesn’t no that thing is
like two veins away
from being pornographic and
didn’t didn’t you say uh was it there
was it somewhere else where
like a is that where a drag queen drag
queen will ride down on one or
was that somewhere else that does that
oh uh
i yeah i don’t know about that but i
mean i would that would be all in favor
of it i think that would
really add to the mystique of dothan
right yeah i was gonna like um
that would yeah that would add to the
mystique of dothan alabama now that i
think about that
uh i remember summer was saying that
they do that where a drag queen will
ride down
on uh on something that drops at
midnight and
i i was thinking it was that and i was
so excited to talk to you about it but
halfway through that sentence i went i
don’t know if that was dothan
yeah i don’t that’s not dothan but i
will tell you this i’m in
full support of that becoming the new
and i think that it would um really give
uh the state of alabama like uh
some much needed rebranding if if we’re
that positive
about the gsm community that that we
have a uh giant
penis with a with a drag queen
and that i feel like that’s it’s not on
brand for alabama but that’s the alabama
that i want to live in
right i was going to say that’s
definitely not alabama brand right there
um so before we get into the real
reasons that you’re on
um instead of talking about penises
dropping at midnight on new year’s eve
and shony’s
i’m a congressional candidate matt i
shouldn’t be talking about this on the
internet especially not in front of a
blank green screen yeah
yeah i also need to applaud you on your
bravery for showing up on the internet
with a green screen behind you well done
um i’m hoping tons of memes come from
this that’s why i put a
like bunch of stuff in the backdrop just
to make it harder to
key out yeah please everyone do not make
a meme
it would be it would be horrible for me
don’t do it uh
um so before we get into
uh your current run for congress i like
to find out how it is that people came
to the libertarian party or how they
found if you’re not a member of the
libertarian party how you came to the
liberty movement
um so what was it that brought you
to the liberty i know you’re part of the
libertarian party because
you were foretold in a prophecy that you
would take liberty
um so how is it that you came to the
libertarian party besides the prophecy
of course so
do you want the long version the fun
version or what are we doing here
so whichever you want to give me i’ll
play with either it doesn’t matter
okay so um first of all um
you’ve kind of heard the the true origin
um not the one that my campaign sent uh
for you to post
which i love my i love the people that
volunteer for me that
we had an actual meeting and they came
up with that anyway
um so uh in in reality
um we ran this ad on your show for maybe
like a week and it was so much fun to
watch you
like read it live on air without knowing
where the story was going but
whenever i was eight um i was at school
and uh the kids were all talking about
uh bob dole was going to ban chocolate
and i was appalled by this notion i
could not give up my chalky milk
and uh i i started campaigning
for for bill clinton because bob dole
couldn’t win he was gonna take my chalky
and so i go home and uh i’m telling my
mom you cannot vote for bob dole he’s
gonna get rid of the chocolate milk
what am i going to do when am i supposed
to drink juice at school for lunch
i want chocolate milk and she was dead
set that it was going to be bob dole so
i decided that
if i could have any luck with anyone it
would be my grandparents
so i go to talk to my granny and i’m
like granny
you have got to vote for bill clinton
you can’t vote for bob dole
they’re going to get rid of the
chocolate milk and she turned around and
just looked at me
dead in the face and said
i ain’t voting for either of them
asses and
i was very confused not
the fact that she was swearing i heard
that word all the time right
but that there were more than two people
running why didn’t i hear about this um
maybe it’s because i was eight years old
you probably went to public school in
alabama yeah
yeah um well so
i uh that that stuck with me
for years years down the line um
it was uh the next election cycle
and i had this this in my head like well
there’s got to be a third option there’s
got to be a third option
well that was ralph nader that was the
big candidate that year the third option
that apparently ruined the election and
gave it to bush
you know um that that excuse they always
use for um you know third-party
and uh i went around doing the same
thing i was like we
you know i started whipping up votes i’m
in the mock election at school and uh i
was very very excited that uh the third
party candidate won
in my class so um
that i actually started paying attention
to policy and stuff like that
and you know he
he was for the ending of the drug war
he was for ending uh corporate welfare
um ending the wars overseas
um a lot of stuff that got me
like excited like as a young non-voter
i started paying attention to politics
and and those were the things that i
thought were
like no-brainers um
so years kept going on and on and on and
and uh it wasn’t until 2008
that ralph nader did a
little conference on uh
i believe cnn with with ron paul
and they talked about how there are
that are so important that no matter
um who you are you probably care about
all these issues but
neither of the major party candidates
actually want to address them
and so he had um you know
like 10 different uh candidates from all
across the
you know the minor parties they all came
to an agreement of we’re going to focus
on these issues
and uh ending the fed um
corporate welfare uh you know all that
all that stuff that i’ve been excited
about for a long time
i heard ron paul talking about and i was
like oh well
that’s cool there’s somebody else doing
it too so that’s that’s where i started
um and came over to the libertarian side
of things is because
i found that now unfortunately uh that
was the election
year that uh bob barr
was the uh libertarian presidential
so uh with uh wayne allyn root was
running with wayne allen root
and uh they they weren’t so keen on the
uh ending the
the drug war or the wars or
you know the stuff the stuff that
libertarians believe in
um so so i didn’t vote libertarian that
time but i had already started
self-identifying as one
um you know it i had to vote uh i had to
vote green
because that was the most libertarian
candidate because
the libertarians didn’t run a
libertarian anyway i digress
um so so a few years later
um i i joined the party
after um being involved in the liberty
movement for
years i was still living in
in georgia where i grew up and
uh so they had just redrawn
my state house district and
they drew it to where the incumbent was
no longer in our district
and we were the new district for the
entire state
um because they got to add i think one
or two
districts to the state and we were one
of the ones that they decided that
it was a new district and they drew the
district really odd where it was kind of
in a um you know little clump of
communities that were all together and
then they drew this little sliver
and that went all the way up to the the
nearest major city
and circled a neighborhood and gave us
a new congressman and
no one was running against him because
there was
really no political parties that were
in any of the rural communities that i
was from
so they just essentially were going to
appoint somebody with no election
because um there wasn’t anybody to run
and they did it all by gerrymandering
and i decided that that was not an
acceptable thing so
i decided that i was gonna run and i
wanted to run as a libertarian
so i had to start that was whenever i
found out the uh
the struggles of petitioning being a
third party candidate
um so it which was
it was crazy to me that um
how many signatures that i needed to get
in a town
of roughly 4 000 people
where i grew up i needed to get
about 2 500 signatures
um that was roughly 70
of your town to sign off on you running
right but that was that was because of
the way the district was drawn so we had
these little small
little small towns and then this little
this weird
go up just ignore this town and then go
into this major city
to make sure that their person stayed in
um and during that run
i learned uh something that
i’ve really been applying during this
this current run for office is that um
if you just
go and knock on people’s doors it’s very
that you are going to be the first
person that’s
ever run for office that’s ever
come and had a conversation with them
and that goes a long way that does
um and if you can
just talk with people you don’t have to
explain libertarianism
they most people kind of are already
and if you can just shut up long enough
to let them talk
and have them be like oh this guy
actually listens
you’re you’ve got their vote right all
you have to do is go i agree with you
yeah that government sucks
that is one of the biggest issues that i
see with a lot of libertarians who go
out campaigning not
and and this is a learning process thing
um i you know i did real estate for
years and a lot of people i would see
doing real estate and i’m not like i’m
not a good salesman i’m not trying to
say that i
am and campaigning isn’t much different
than being a salesman you’re just trying
to sell a candidate or yourself if you
are the candidate
but so many people will get the sale
and then keep pushing the sale when all
you really need to do is uh
shut the hell up and listen to what
they’re saying
and then talk to them about what they’re
but keep your answer short and concise
tailored to what they are saying so that
you’re not pushing yourself out of the
sale at that point
sure i mean uh you know the but it also
becomes very easy
in a place like alabama where 85
of the races in this state are unopposed
so it’s very easy whenever you are the
person who’s
actually trying to make sure there is an
election right
um all you have to say is listen
i would love for you to vote for me but
please sign this petition
so we can have an election
and and people are going to like the guy
who’s trying to make sure that there’s
an election
you kind of already have a leg up right
no that’s that’s actually very valid
yeah we’re where i am here
and i’m in st pete florida and uh
there’s an election we’re like the most
uh densely populated cities um
in florida and like in the top 20 or so
in america or something like that
so there’s an election lots of money
gets spent
in the city by the two major parties uh
we had a special election back in
2014 i think
and the two major parties spent
obscene something like 20 million
dollars on a special election for
congress and this person was only going
to be in
first the election was in march the next
election was in november
so what six months seven months
and like they spent 20 million dollars
to get that seat
back in 2014 and uh
the republicans ended up winning it by a
squeaker they blamed the libertarian
the democrats blamed the libertarian for
for them losing the republicans blame
the libertarian for them almost
losing and uh we ended up
that was the first person i went out
knocking doors for because
i was like he can win this he didn’t no
he didn’t
it wasn’t it wasn’t but matt could you
just imagine
if that 20 million dollars was spent on
actually building up the community
rather than dividing everyone into two
different sides who are going to fight
each other
online over my candidate is the best
right imagine if that 20 million dollars
was spent
on i don’t know feeding the homeless
buying diapers for the needy
uh things like that right man that would
be great
that would be amazing it’s too bad that
it just has to be spent on campaign ads
has to be on mud slinging campaign ads
because they weren’t playing cause they
were if only if only
that would so that would honestly be the
greatest campaign ad of all time
is if a candidate came in and was like
look where all of the money that we’re
going to spend in this district on ads
we’re going to use it helping people so
whatever money and well matt
he would be happy to know that that’s
what i’m doing
well i am not going to be
doing any type of campaign event unless
i am going to
do something that’s going to help people
that’s awesome
and people were are going to think that
was a setup but it 100
was not it wasn’t no it does not have
that in my notes at all no that’s
awesome so like
when you’re doing a campaign event it’ll
be out to like help feed the homeless or
to help uh give it can be something
that’s that’s very simple
um so just a couple weeks ago for for
um originally it was supposed to be an
outdoor event
and so what we did is we had
um about 800 bottles of water
and we were just going to make sure
people were hydrated
it’s it’s in the summer in south alabama
it’s very hot uh at the last minute a
hurricane decided it was going to uh or
a tropical storm decided it was gonna
blow through and the event got moved to
the inside of a civic center so people
were not as thirsty
so we had a lot of extra water but um
we people still appreciated it um
there weren’t a lot the food vendors uh
were all gonna be outside
so there weren’t food vendors anymore at
the event so people weren’t able to you
know go buy
their beverages and stuff like that
because they were all like food trucks
so we were the only people there making
sure that um you know people if they if
they were thirsty they had water
so um little things like that it doesn’t
have to be something that’s just like
super egregious like it would be great
to have
the the funds to be able to you know put
together something like uh
what they did in um in tennessee where
uh the i believe the whiskey region
and uh the shony’s caucus and spike came
and they uh had uh essentially a
breakfast bar
and made plates and fed the homeless
they would be great to do that
kind of stuff for events but obviously
that kind of stuff cost money um and
there’s definitely some sort of
loopholes that you have to jump through
to make sure that you’re not
violating fec rules um
by doing it so right because they don’t
want you to think you’re buying votes
that way
by helping people yeah um
because fec rules they make a lot of
sense well you know see
we have i i maintain that we have a uh
a little bit of um of immunity in this
situation because if we’re not on the
ballot we can’t buy votes
so if we’re just if i’m just running and
maybe i’m on the ballot maybe i’m not we
don’t know yet um
and we’re just helping people in the
then we’re not buying votes we’re not
even on the freaking ballot
so let’s uh let’s talk about that a
little bit um
because one of the planks that you have
on your website is about ballot access
and um you were telling me uh before the
show while i was
dealing with technical issues um
uh that there is a lawsuit currently
going on in alabama
uh for voter register for the voter
registration rules
yes so uh what is what goes on here in
the state
is it is the position of the state of
that the libertarian party does not
access to the voter registration role
um we are not a real serious political
and they they get with the
sorry i give the voter registry oh go
ahead i’m sorry
but uh i don’t know which is worse the
fact that alabama doesn’t consider the
libertarian party a real
serious uh political party or that the
state of tennessee
uh thinks that if you add the
libertarian party
to the ballots uh the democrats and
republicans will become confused
i’m not really sure which is worse
um i’m not sure either um
the the the biggest insult well there’s
a lot of just
ridiculous ridiculousness uh
but the biggest one of the biggest
insults to me is uh the fact that
um the uh
the legal team printed out pictures of
vermin supreme
and held them up as evidence um
which is oh my god
like it i i i maintained that
that he is less vermin is less of a joke
than um
well our current president or even you
know the alabama secretary of state
who does who doesn’t get any media
attention unless it’s involving his sex
i mean vermin um you know he he gets uh
all over the
all over the place he’s
isn’t alabama where judge roy moore was
from oh yeah absolutely
yeah the the pedophile that ran for
senate right
right yeah so so that’s the problem is
we don’t have enough sex scandals i
think so that’s how you become
a serious party is whenever you start
having sex scandals
i think i’m not sure that’s that’s the
message that i’m getting that
well that would seem to make sense for
alabama politics
uh but so so they give they give the
voter registration rule to the
republicans and democrats
and they charge they want they are
requiring us to pay
36 000 and
they give the list of them and allow
them to
sell copies of it to their candidates
for thousands of dollars
which then goes back into the general
for the parties themselves so
essentially the state of alabama is
this rule to fundraise for the major
and so we’re we’re um in
a lawsuit right now and that will be
going to the circuit court
on august 24th
so i think there’s there’s going to be a
big demonstration there that day
um that’s getting ironed out and if
people want to uh if they’re in like
neighboring states like florida
georgia mississippi tennessee any of
that stuff and they want to come to it
um we are trying to throw
um a massive event um i
believe it has been confirmed that
spike’s going to be there
um vermin has expressed interest in
coming down
um when is that event again august 24th
august 24th i can tell you if spike’s
gonna be there um
august 24th
hang on i’ll find it here in a second uh
i know he’s in ohio
that weekend i don’t know i’ll have to
check with brian afterwards
um but uh i’m relatively certain
right i’m relatively certain so
uh on your website you have a section in
it that says
uh to ensure that alabama voters have
another option on your ballots you need
to turn in a petition with 51
588 valid signatures
that is correct to run for
to run for congress in a district with 2
500 people
uh that is for statewide
that is the that is the petition to make
the libertarian party
a party okay gotcha and get our
candidates on the ballot
now i could run i was confused by that i
was like
you have 25 you have 4 000 people now i
could run as an independent
okay okay so so the number that
that you’re talking i’m gonna that i was
living in georgia whenever i was running
state house for that small district i
have moved since moved to alabama
um and uh this this district does have a
much higher population so um the actual
the actual number if i wanted to run as
an independent
would also still be very very very large
i’ve decided that i’m going to run as a
and the reason why i’m i’m not just
because i’m a party member
but i want to be able to support any of
the smaller candidates
that also want to run and the way that
this petition works
it gets them valid access as well so we
can campaign together
we can go knock on doors together they
essentially build like this network of
of libertarians that are running and be
on the ballot together the crazy thing
is that none of the candidates for
statewide office
can take in any money or spend any money
on their campaign until one year before
the election
and they also have to put their campaign
on hold
while the alabama uh state house and
are in session so you while the
incumbent is
running nobody else can run or while
while he’s in uh while he’s in session
nobody else can run nobody else can
correct anything
so i’m i’m currently the only person in
the state of alabama who can
legally run a campaign
um for it within our our party um
you would have you have to be running
for federal office to be running now
now there are people that are that are
volunteering and helping with my
campaign that are eventually going to be
but they can’t take in any money they
can’t spend any money they can’t do
anything really until one year
before the election and then they have
to put it on pause
so yeah alabama is crazy matt
alabama’s got some crazy crazy some
crazy rules there
um janice mckenzie’s in the comments
and she said that her son is richard
oh i love richard richards and he’s
hosting one of your events
uh which event is he doing uh that
is going to be uh that that event
for uh the okay it’s the august 24th
okay yeah yeah and according to janice
mckenzie a
big huge event with yes spike vermin
and state chair laura lane
so that should be a great event for
anybody who’s in the alabama area of the
united states
um the entire
outside region too i used to go to
alabama a lot when i lived in tennessee
and uh i love it down there i think it’s
beautiful country
i maintain that the uh just outside
just north of of montgomery where uh the
event’s gonna be
i maintain it has the best jonies in the
are you going to try to get spike to go
to the shones and uh
there’s no way he’s going to do it but
you can’t eat anything there um yeah he
can there’s salmon
is it really salmon though because denny
says that as well
hey hey this is no denny’s don’t you
disrespect shonies
with this denny’s talk
uh so a couple other things that um
you talk a lot about gun rights on your
on your uh
on your page and
there’s a lot of talk in the nation
right now like you’ve got joe biden
going on
saying that um i wish i had the exact
quote in front of me
but where he compared uh taking guns
away from the blacks and native
at the uh be at the beginning of the
country back in 1792
or whatever i know it’s in yeah 1792. um
in 1792 as uh god
basically he said it was common sense
gun reform is what he compared that to
um so what is it that you would want to
in congress to ensure that that doesn’t
well the short answer is um
my general rule for everything that i
would like to do in congress is
uh i would like to vote for as few new
laws as possible
um so i
i you know i personally believe that
um has gotten like way too far out of
control so i feel like that’s the most
effective thing that i could do
is is vote for fewer things um just vote
um but absolutely
there shouldn’t be any type of new
restrictions on
on gun ownership um
i explained this uh i was out
campaigning and i was talking to
somebody who was very concerned actually
one of the one of the people that
volunteers they
were petitioning with me and he was
talking to her first
and she brought up that her number one
issue is that she wanted more gun
and he tried to explain and he was like
oh you know what
i’m just going to let you talk to
jonathan um and so he passes her over to
and she you know was very adamant that
that was her her biggest
her biggest concern and i said
i would like i would like to give you a
counter point
with with all of the gun laws
that are in place and you look at
the arrest and
who are traditionally targeted how how
the arrest happened
um the circumstances around it you see
it disproportionately affects certain
more than others yes um and
she’s like well that’s true because i
mean look at you know this and this and
this and this
and like exactly so do you think
expanding those things
is going to make that problem go away or
make it worse
um i mean a great example is the little
wayne thing
um is it like that was a
weed charge originally and there was a
gun on the bus
and so now he’s he’s in possession of uh
of a firearm while in possession of
marijuana and
i think it’s the brady act that makes
those two things
um wasn’t he also an x-con wasn’t he
also a
convicted felon so he wasn’t supposed to
own a firearm
i believe that was the second the second
like he’s he’s been he’s been caught
with a gun multiple times but i believe
the first the initial charge
was that he had a gun on his
bus and was being he was being arrested
for weed initially and they searched the
i believe that is the the initial charge
okay um
back in the day right and
like that that’s that’s the system
working exactly as it’s as
as it’s meant to work that’s the way
they want it to work
now they’ve got you for two two charges
and they can lock you up and
throw away the key or exploit you for
hundreds of thousands of dollars in
legal fees and
and uh just ruin you that’s the system
that’s the system they want
yeah it’s actually always been that
system i was talking to a
guy on um clubhouse yesterday
um and he was telling me that when he
was 18 years old
he got a i don’t want to say the wrong
um it wasn’t disturbing he got a
he caught a charge that was kind of like
one of those
trumped up charges like the cop didn’t
like him since he was a minor and said
once you turn 18 i’m gonna mess up your
and then he turned 18 and the cop pulled
him over
and he was saying that um he was like
remember how i told you this and he was
like no i don’t remember that and then
he told him to half off
and so the cop charged him with uh
disorderly conduct
um that was it disorderly conduct and it
ended up sticking like he’s
he didn’t spend long in jail but that
charge ended up he ended up paying
tons and fines and it stuck with him he
actually wanted to be
a cop and that precluded him from
becoming a cop he couldn’t become
a uh he couldn’t work at the
in the prison as a corrections guard um
and then he couldn’t work as like a
at the prisons and like everything he
wanted to do was out the window
because he got this one charge because
he told a cop to half off
because the cop had told him two years
before i’m going to ruin your life when
you turn 18.
and it stuck with him and that
is one of the things that definitely
needs to change in this country like we
need to fix that
because you have a lot of young
young men young women who are getting in
trouble for something
when they aren’t old enough to drink
they aren’t old enough to smoke they are
old enough to uh
join the military and go off and die in
a war to protect the country
or they are old enough to get tried as
an adult
for something that
you’re telling them they aren’t smart
enough to make the decision to drink or
to smoke
but you knew better than to do what you
are doing here
like the two don’t match up no in my
not at all not at all uh i mean
you’re i’m preaching to the choir with
with uh
some of my talking points but like the
the whole system with with the amount of
laws and the things that you can be
charged for and they can just come up
with charges they can always find a
charge there’s always a charge
um it’s it’s
it completely violates everyone’s human
rights like as long as you are not
hurting someone or taking their stuff
you’re not doing anything wrong
right agreed 100 and
and most people agree with that
the app like i’m going to say like
90 of people if you really just sat down
and had a conversation with them and you
weren’t talking about
my guy versus your guy or anything like
that you were just talking about like
an outlook on life most people are going
to agree with you
that you don’t hurt people and you don’t
take their stuff
and that’s a good way to live your life
and that everything else doesn’t matter
but whenever you bring politics into it
they’ll be like
well there ought to be a law i really
just don’t like it when people do that
yeah that’s my least favorite phrase in
uh american history
my one status thing is that i think
there ought to be a law against saying
there ought to be a law
i mean it depends on how you’re saying
it like if you’re saying
how you and i would normally say it oh
no no exceptions
no exceptions and banned let’s ban it
you can’t say there ought to be a law
against there ought to be a law
um so
yeah and one of the things that
one of the things that uh i i’ve noticed
a lot of people
are really starting to get passionate
about is criminal justice reform and
it it is the number one issue that we
uh last night on my fellow americans
spike had on dave from dave’s killer
and he was talking about the system that
he was kind of stuck in he
he did accept a lot of the blame on his
own which
i do respect any time somebody does that
and they’re like no i you know i screwed
up like my depression
my the crap life that i was in led to my
depression which led to me doing these
um and they were he was like the drug
stuff was whatever it was the violent
stuff that i shouldn’t have been doing
um and that’s the stuff that landed me
in prison uh and
he goes out and he he started his own
company dave’s killer bread
makes fantastic bread if it yeah it’s so
it’s so good um but then he
mainly he either only hires or primarily
ex-cons uh to work for him
to give them a second chance to get them
reassembled and get them
back into the real world and he is doing
than the entire prison system and the
entire uh penal system in america
combined um because sorry
i forgot to hit do not disturb on that
and oh no keep it up
i like it it was blocking out my face
but um he’s done more for the prison
uh that for the entire correctional
than any any state has uh attempting to
keep people in
because that’s fundraising for them you
gotta have them paying the dues that
they have to pay for
uh probation uh they have to keep up on
those they have to pay for their classes
they have to pay for you know the psyche
valves or whatever else
they have to pay and pay and pay and
you’re keeping these people from being
able to make it
and then on top of it you have all of
these companies that are saying
uh you know are you a felon have you
been convicted of a crime and you’re
keeping these people down instead of
giving them a system
in which once they have been released
they are
able to lift back up and you know prove
themselves to the world
it’s the 13th amendment working as it’s
i mean it’s it’s is it is
i i can’t i can’t argue with that even a
little bit
i can argue against shoni’s uh french
toast sticks better than i can argue
against that and
it’s hard to argue against that um
but so uh other than
voting no on a lot of things like when
you’re in congress like you said
i don’t want to vote for any new laws
there’s nothing you would want to pass
no legislation you would want to get
kicked off anything well i mean
um i would love to be part i mean that’s
why i started running
originally was uh i was very passionate
ending qualified immunity and seeing the
lack of support that had in congress is
is what um
pushed the button to make me uh run for
office which i said i would not do again
um so yeah i mean that would be
something that i would immediately want
to i
want to work on is ending qualified
no knock raids any of that um ending the
war on drugs
um i’d like to end as much stuff as
all legislation is used to end in in
previous legislation and that i can get
behind um
that i can absolutely get behind ending
the wars bringing everyone home
shutting down all of the military bases
overseas every last one of them
right that kind of stuff yeah yeah get
it i i understand completely
um i absolutely understand completely
man i i so okay before before i let you
go i have to ask
um because you know i found your imdb
who is i’m sorry emo emo phillips
uh who is emo phillips i do not know who
this is oh wow uh so
emo phillips is a um
he’s a comedy legend like within the
comedy world
most people will tell you that he’s the
best joke writer that’s ever lived
okay um but he’s he’s
so um he’s very underground
has a very very devoted fan base
um and is
there’s there’s no way for him to have
mainstream appeal
like he’s the type of comedy that he
is honestly too smart for the average
um so
uh yeah i i personally think that that
emo is is the
the greatest comic who’s ever lived um
is still living the greatest comic alive
so much so that you
made it it’s a documentary right
sure okay i like that shirt
that’s what you want to call it it’s me
and some friends with the camera
joking around um yeah it’s uh
it’s a very somebody shooting out
fireworks it is way too early and it
it just scared cletus i have to bring
cletus in
just for a moment cletus is terrified
um i guess so uh
yeah stalking emo um is a really fun
that that me and some friends shot a few
years ago
it has yet to be released um
it’s uh got some trailers online and
there’s clips you can look up
but uh it’s i don’t know how to describe
what the movie is which is probably why
it’ll never see the light of day because
i don’t think anyone knows what to do
other i mean i don’t know what to do
with it um but it’s a feature-length
ish type thing comedy film it’s got a
bunch of
uh you know fun people in it um i got to
work with weird al
i got to work with uh um andy daley
who’s in
tons of comedy stuff um i got to work
with uh
like a cast member from always sunny and
just a lot of fun people
were in it um yeah i was like i was
going through
um like that i saw that you were a
scavenger with the red umbrella
uh on walking dead and um
that uh you were in
jimmy will probably save the world or
whatever that show
was whatever that show was yeah i don’t
like i said i don’t know i got paid i
got paid to be there and
right and then um i saw that you were
the writer and director of stalking emo
as a person who listened to emo for a
period of my life that’s longer than i
would like to admit i uh
i was like oh i wonder what this is and
i was like oh that’s a person
i don’t know who this is but then i saw
you like met weird al
and stuff like that and i was like oh
that sounds
i want to see this now uh it’s i
i mean i personally maintain that it’s
it’s a really
um good comedy movie um it is
bizarre in all of my favorite ways
um i am biased because i wrote and
directed it yeah because you wrote
i get it but i mean you know
when you look at the people that are in
it and you look at the kind of stuff
that they do
um i mean
i love i’m a huge weirdo fan um so that
was like a
like absolute dream come true to be able
um work with him and it was an absolute
uh nerve-wrecking nightmare to direct
him not because he was difficult to work
with just because i’m like i don’t need
to be bossing weird al around i don’t
need to be telling weird al what to do
he’s weird al he should be telling me
how to make this
right no i and i understand that
completely um
i’ve so i’ve written a couple of short
uh that are out there somewhere um
and but i’ve never worked with anybody
nearly on the scope of like a weird al
or anybody from it’s always sunny like
everybody i’ve worked with has been like
local and
but just having my own imdb credits
is fun and cool the one thing that i’m
very happy that didn’t pan out from
making stalking emo
is um uh bob odenkirk
apparently was interested in being in
the movie and we
could not time it out correctly for him
like it was just like a matter of just
his schedule he was still making a
better call saul and stuff like that and
he wanted to be in it and
i got very excited that he wanted to be
in it and then like looking back i’m
like i’m so glad that he’s not in this
because i could not have properly
as i’m so amateur there’s no way that i
like it’s bob odenkirk
what is it you’re doing here do you have
you guys ever done this before
no no we haven’t no absolutely not
do you remember when you were on uh the
mr bob show or whatever the
show was coming yeah um we’re like that
but less experienced
yeah pretty much yeah um
but uh no like uh when i saw you had
that i
got more interested in like your imdb
stuff about your
political career uh you know that tends
to happen i
i i try not to bring up
that i worked i worked in the
entertainment industry before this
because people do get really distracted
with that
which i honestly if i were smart i would
lean into it
and just use use that to get people
because people will show up if they’ll
show up to get a autograph from
uh you know any walking dead zombie at
any type of
uh small little comic con and i should
just being like i was on the walking
dead come to my campaign event
i was scavenger with the red umbrella
come and come to my do you watch do you
watch the show
uh i saw i saw season one and okay well
that was
that was i think that was the best one
yeah that’s what i’ve heard
uh yeah yeah i um essentially
the entire purpose of my character was
to turn on
the good guys and then lock them in this
like fence
and essentially lead them to their death
and uh i was
one of the most hated people for weeks
after that i was just
destroyed on twitter um
that their my favorite tweet that i saw
was um there are three people or four
people who need to die
right now and they were listing off
characters they were like
negan listing off characters and then
they were like and the actor who played
the guy with the umbrella
like three characters and a real person
and you personally and me personally
um uh there was like some
article from funny or die that uh
essentially called me a meth head
um and just had a picture of me in
um that was nice
really it was a fun week for me
if i didn’t love the internet so much
right it would it probably would have it
would have broken me
but i enjoyed it you and monica lewinsky
internet bullying in common um
well i appreciate you coming on taking
the time to spend with me and i’m really
sorry about the
technical issues at the beginning
so picture pitch everything that you can
to get people to donate
uh to donate where they can go to see
your site events you’re doing pitch it
all give me
give me everything you got right now
hi i’m jonathan reels i’m running for
congress which is very expensive
i’m not a real candidate because the fec
that you have to raise five thousand
dollars before you become a real
so help me become a real candidate make
me a real boy as matt says
you can donate at www.jonathan
you can also find out about my uh
radical extremist ideas
i want to be a real boy not the gumdrop
um those are two totally separated did
you find out did you find out that you
were a uh
possible extremist today on facebook
matt i uh well
i i did not get uh noticed you didn’t
get the notification
i did not get the notification so i
assume i am the extremists that they’re
talking about
um see i had someone send me uh
their notification and it was like
someone that you know
may be an extremist right
and so they send me that and i’m like
what is this all about and i get that in
messenger first
and then i open up actual facebook and
then i get a notification
and my notification said you may
have been yeah like it
it was a different one it was like this
one was like directed at me
right and i was like wait so did
it was one of my campaign volunteers
that sent me the original one was like
did my campaign volunteer get that one
because he’s been exposed to me
what is going on here what is happening
did you like i finally went and like
looked up the resources
that they give you um and i really think
these notifications are being sent to
the wrong people
because uh the two topics were um
how uh anti-immigrant racism is bad
and uh that that violence is also bad
and i’m like well why are they sending
this to libertarians like right because
this is not our thing
we’re we support we have the
non-aggression principles so we don’t
support violence and
you know bring on the immigrants like
bring them on like come on
come in i don’t care come on in the free
movement of people
is imperative which is why shoni’s
in the buffet is not statist
so i’m gonna have to send you some
waffle house gear um
and bring you into the waffle house
caucus officially
uh but i will join you in dothan for uh
shony sometime
let’s do it but thank you so much for
coming on um
thanks for having me i’ve enjoyed it i’m
gonna do the closing if you want to hang
out if not if you got somewhere else to
be cool and i
have to be on the libertarian party
caucus breakfast council live stream in
uh about six minutes
so that’s where i’ll leave all right
have fun at the shonies the shoni’s
caucus breakfast council
um and have some it’s a super secret
meeting and we do it in public
we’re a shadow council
and uh have some french toast sticks for
because we can’t get those here and i
will i will talk to you again soon and i
hope i see you very soon man it’s good
have you good to talk to you i’ll talk
to you later
to everybody else go to see this way
to pick up your libertarian kool-aid
um thank you all so much for tuning in
today i definitely appreciate
you taking the time out of your busy
thursdays to spend the
evening with me and with jonathan reels
real quick what do we got going on uh
this weekend
on sunday we have a brand new episode of
cajun and eskimo uh cajun and eskimo
uh from bayous to igloos happening
sunday july 4th
at 3 p.m eastern and then
on tuesday spike cohen and i
will be right back here for muddied
waters of freedom where we will parse
the week’s events like the 2020 wonder
that we are and i believe i’m checking
right now because you know i never
do this oh we do we we have
a guest on tuesday it is avery rumberger
who is running for judge of elections in
his precinct
um in pennsylvania so looking forward to
having him on
uh and then on wednesday spike
yep looks like spike has i think he has
damon root
on don’t quote me on that he will also
be on kennedy at eight o’clock
and then next thursday one day before i
am in tunica mississippi
with the cajun libertarian with spike
cohen and with all of our
disproportionately attractive
significant others
um for the event going on there uh
i have vicki rose coming on our
on to the writer’s block next week
thank you all so much for tuning in uh
sorry about the late start we had some
technical issues
there is a uh there is a chance on
uh that the show will get canceled
because of a hurricane that is
apparently headed right for us
um and i’m certain that superfan sarah
andrag is finding out about this right
uh so if we don’t have a show that is
it will be because we are attempting to
keep our house from floating away
um thank you all so much for tuning in
have a fantastic weekend
stay safe on the fourth if you’re gonna
drink don’t drive get an
uber if you’re close to me call me i
will come i will pick you up
and i will drive you home do not drink
and drive this weekend
but have a fantastic fourth of july
weekend and
until next time i am matt wright and you
you yes you
are perfect just the way you are i’ll
see you next week
body as a life raft cause if there’s
room enough for one there must be
i am waving
i will only drag you
i’ll go to convince

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Jason Lyon
Jason Lyon
Jason Lyon - USN Submarine Vet -Minarchist/Constitutionalist - #Liberty advocate - Principles over party - Constitution over Idolatry
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