The Wrighter’s Block Episode 50- Joel Getz Gets Wrighter’s Block

DISCLOSURE

FULL TRANSCRIPT TEXT

[Music]
throwing
[Music]
i don’t need anybody’s help yeah i am
[Music]
cause if there’s room enough for one
there must be
[Music]
no
[Music]
my hiding place is
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
while i
[Music]
[Music]
i don’t need anybody’s head
[Music]
yes everybody welcome back to the
writer’s block it is i
your wonderful host potential savior
matt wright uh thank you all for tuning
in
uh i definitely appreciate it every week
that you guys tune in to watch me here
on the writer’s block a muddied waters
media
presentation first and foremost i have
to thank the fantastic people the
wonderful people the kind people
the kind people at siesta cava dot
com for the cava that i am drinking on
today’s episode
siestacava.com if you are one of the few
people out there who have not tried the
libertarian kool-aid
go to siesta cava.com to order your kava
today uh to you to all of you watching
and to the fine people at siesta cava
bulavanaka
this show is brought to you by personal
injury attorney chris reynolds attorney
at law he is the
finest attorney personal injury attorney
the finest personal injury attorney
in the florida region of the united
states if you find yourself personally
injured
whilst in the florida region of the
united states
you need to find that smiling face right
there and he
will get you just so much money he will
get you so much money he is the greatest
attorney in
in the entire multiverse uh this episode
is also brought to you by the
uh not the muddy waters waffle house
caucus the libertarian party waffle
house caucus
if you want to become a voting member of
the of the fastest growing
waffle related caucus in the multiverse
all you have to do
is go to muddy water what
muddiedwatersmedia.com
store and pick up a
button a waffle house button and if you
want to be a voting member just pick
up a t-shirt also at
muddiedwatersmedia.com
store this episode is brought to you by
black
organic coffee the greatest organic
cold brewed coffee to ever be
horrifically misspelled
if you want to try out some of the best
coffee on the market
all you have to do is go to
blackbruise.com that’s spelled
blvckbrews.com because
nothing matters uh use checkout code mw
for free shipping if you are
one of the many who are trying to kick
the coffee habit
all you need to do is go to
muddiedwatermedia.com
mud and try out mud water it’s a
fantastic coffee alternative that tastes
not bad if you put honey in it
uh and it’s got masala chai cacao
mushrooms turmeric sea salt cinnamon and
that
is it that is it
uh i have it i’ve been drinking it kind
of regularly and
it’s pretty fantastic the uh effects
that you get from it
so uh muddy muddiedwatersmedia.com mud
and you can
make the switch today this episode is
also brought to you by the
gravy king
not ironically at all this episode is
brought to you by nug of knowledge the
greatest cbd uh product on the market
uh nug of knowledge does a lot of great
work fighting the war on drugs and
helping out uh
veterans who need help in the cbd
department um especially that green one
from what i hear apparently that green
one’s just
weed so if you’re in certain states you
may not
want to buy it or you may want to buy it
if you’re in certain states because you
can get it shipped right to your house
this episode is also brought to you by
the royal green and they say that you
shouldn’t judge a book by its cover
but if i were to see these covers in a
bookstore
i would know i’m in the wrong section i
would know i’m absolutely in the wrong
section of the bookstore because
this does not look like something i
would want to read however if you take a
look at these things
um and know that they are written by
fellow libertarian and author jack casey
you can see that you know one it’s got
like a ring with some
with an emerald and some uh smoke
coming out of it and i think like
there’s maybe a jesus fish in there
and um i’m not really sure what any of
this means
and uh the other one uh it looks like
there’s a butterfly with a woman staring
out of it but
also there’s a knife or a sword with
potentially a
snake i don’t know um not sure what any
of this means but the point is this book
series it’s either gonna be the best
thing you’ve ever read or the worst
thing you’ve ever read and there is
absolutely no in between
uh so you’re either going to hate how
much you love it or love how much you
hate it
we don’t know but you’ll know and then
you can let us know and we will
uh report back on that the author jack
casey claims that it’s like if game of
thrones dune ender’s game final fantasy
hamlet v for vendetta phantom of the
opera and a bunch of other stories came
together
and had a few strange but beautiful
rectangular
shaped babies and all you need to do is
visit theroyalgreen.com today
to learn more and
adopt some of these rectangular shaped
babies
rectangular shaped babies everybody
we call them books uh this episode is
also brought to you by
joe soloski he is the key to
pennsylvania’s success
vote for joe soloski for governor um
if you live in the pennsylvania region
of the united states he
is the key to the success of the i think
it’s
it’s a state my next guest don’t know uh
i think it’s a state not a commonwealth
um so thank you to all of those people
to them i say bulavanaka
as well because i have not had enough
acaba today
so my next guest is a personal favorite
of mine
he showed up on the muddied waters of
freedom
uh for a 15 minute segment that lasted
two and a half hours
uh he is currently running
to be the mayor of the 249th largest
city in pennsylvania
uh east stroudsburg ladies and gentlemen
welcome with me
mr joel goetz joel
thank you for coming on
it’s good to be here and uh first i’ll
just let you know that yes it is in fact
a commonwealth
um okay i i was like it’s a commonwealth
it’s not a state it’s
like it is it is the commonwealth um
also um
i am just so tired of just joe soloski
being everywhere i am
um just everywhere i go i can’t he’s
just there i think he’s following me i
think he’s trying to ride my coattails
to success be honest
um well that makes sense sure since
you’re doing his social media
yeah well yeah that’s fair um
based on hearing you describe those
books i really want
like a uh an endorsement from you to put
on the website to be like
yeah i mean he’s not like the worst
person i ever met
like he might be good or he might be a
scumbag i don’t know
what’s funny is one the author uh says
that i’m incredible and thank you
and two he writes those scripts so
i play with him a little bit but i’m
like all right whatever you want jack
you’re paying i don’t know then i want
then i want him to write my endorsement
and um just say i’m keeping an eye on
these comments because i don’t trust any
of my friends
um and uh to bonnie who said joel getz
why is your beard so unkempt
i say why is yours
i saw that somebody uh patricia berthold
wants to know star wars or star trek and
there’s only one right answer to
continue this show
well what you want uh star wars or star
trek
star wars or star trek um well i i’m not
sure if i could pick one because
i’m into i’m into dating but if i had to
pick one i’d say
i’d say star wars that’s the right
answer to continue on the show good job
um
yeah no i i i understand the uh if you
want to continue dating thing
um i spent most of my although i i
although i am a nerd who asked if that
was a harry
apparently don’t know what harvard is
uh yeah before the show we’re sitting
there and he goes is that a muddied
waters harry potter shirt and i was like
no that’s harvard i took the harvard
logo and i
put uh the muddy water stuff in it i had
somebody so
this one yeah this one i i had this
showing at work the other day
and this girl that i work with
said is that george washington on europe
no
that’s ben franklin and i was just like
you went to public school in florida
didn’t you
and she just thought she was like you
should have just made her feel really
bad and be like that’s my grandmother
like just watch her just turn around and
freaking leave like
for anybody who’s listening i have a
tattoo of thomas jefferson
on my right bicep and yeah that’s who
she was
questioning on whether or not it was um
george washington or ben franklin and
then she went to andrew jackson
and i was like wow you are just all over
the map aren’t you you know
you you you should have just went you
just should have just stood there and
stared at her dead in the eyes until she
got to jefferson
just no blinking make no comment just
stare her dead in the eyes
like a like a serial killer and be like
that at the very end be like
it’s jefferson and then just turn around
and turn around and walk away
i was shadowing her all day for a
training that i’m doing so i was like
i can’t just leave
well i mean just you know quit your job
it’s not it’s not important
like bonnie wants to know why abraham
lincoln is on this live stream
well tell bonnie that she’s well look
okay
matt here’s the deal well here’s the
deal jack
um bonnie’s the one that where the where
the the turkey bacon joe comes from
okay because she likes turkey bacon so
quite frankly i
why would i respect her opinions
actually that’s a valid point
yeah and that’s that’s that leads me to
the other thing i’m glad spike’s not
here because
uh you know he’s just too soft on the
turkey bacon issue and as a real
libertarian
you can’t go oh it’s a victimless crime
man
no you either say you like it and you’re
a dirty communist
or it’s awesome to go to jail for it and
he’s just he’s too soft on bacon i think
right and uh that’s my main other than
that he’s great
that sounds like a taliban communist to
me
hey look i he started going downhill
with me when he couldn’t get his
uh his thing up and run you know the uh
the software up and running that first
time we tried this
i was like are you in spike’s bedroom
how do you know if you can’t get his
thing up and running like
i i mean hey campaigns aren’t cheap dude
and
i i need money yeah you got to pay for
it somehow i get it i guess hey signs
ain’t cheap bud you know
a hand job is still a job um
hi to all my friends and parents but how
did anybody say
anybody who’s thinking about voting for
joel getz for may or v stroudsburg
remember
he did not say that joke
he also did not disagree with that joke
so this is what it is you know what you
get behind the waffle house
at two o’clock in the afternoon is you
know it’s money um
it’s not a lot of money but it’s money
um uh
so uh the way i normally like to start
shows instead of
making prostitution jokes um
is asking my guest um how
uh how is it you found that you became a
libertarian was it a big aha moment or
were you always one or did you kind of
grow into it after
a life of being either a neocon or a
neolib
yeah i uh right around the time i
started to even bother paying attention
to uh
to politics was maybe a year or two
before
2012 and ron paul kind of took off that
year
so i just i was just some clueless guy
for some reason i like mike huckabee for
like a few months and i don’t know where
that came from and
that just makes me sad to think about
but i will say that from the very get-go
i wanted to punch rick santorum did him
out and i stand by that
um if he ever if he’s watching this
time and play anytime anywhere let’s go
but um
so then ron paul came onto the scene and
you know
i looked into him i let me the
libertarian party and that’s kind of i
was like yeah yeah
i like the idea of being left alone
that’s awesome
and uh fast forward a few years
i started you know posting memes
uh as a volunteer for the jorgensen
campaign and uh
met my county affiliate chair and now
i’m the chair
i i don’t know i’m a state caucus
coordinator i’m on a several different
campaigns i’m running for
mayor and i i just wanted to post memes
you know i don’t know i just don’t know
what happened i’ve lost control of my
life
really you know that’s pretty much it i
patricia uh says who admits to liking
mike huckabee delete that from the
video on demand um and
i you don’t hear of a lot of
libertarians who got started through
mike huckabee
um yeah i don’t know what happened there
to be honest with you i’ve made some bad
choices
you took a different route you took a
different route there it’s
you know i get it but hey it could be
worse i haven’t killed anyone and i
don’t eat turkey bacon
right and if you ate turkey bacon i just
wouldn’t be able to support your
campaign at all
um right you know if i killed somebody
you’d be like well did they deserve it
the turkey bacon’s inexcusable so
jimmy lee says from me moore’s the mayor
um but yeah
so you know that’s how you actually win
the meme wars by winning
uh an election uh
but uh so you said that you started out
in the meme wars
um and then you became the monroe county
libertarian affiliate chair
yeah so you meet you named your way to
chairship
to chairpersonship yeah i’m trying to
tell myself i mean
my way into good thing i mean i’ve
mostly memed my way into more and more
work
which i don’t know so i guess they’re
they’re fire memes you know but um
i yeah i i like to say i you know you
said you know you that’s how you win a
memoir
is you win a campaign i’m also hoping
that’s how you win a campaign
is through me more that would be helpful
i mean that’s how donald trump kind of
won the first one
yeah yeah yeah
the reddit boys and the 4chan boys ended
up memeing him into a presidency
i don’t think my words are good enough
and huge enough
to you know to be a donald trump i don’t
think i know all of the best words
but i know a handful so i think i might
be able to get there
um i don’t really know where i would
build a wall
but if people want to build one
somewhere i don’t really
give a damn i mean maybe around
throughout if i’m going to build
if i’m going to build a wall it’s going
to be
on my house um
because i feel like that’s an
appropriate place to put one
but at least it’s not to keep like
mexicans out is to keep everyone out
because screw them all
right because i don’t want you in my
house
so so uh you started being the social
media director for
uh the name that shall not be named on
this episode uh because he beats you to
every
it’s already been mentioned for joe
soloski uh for governor
uh and also for steve sheets for u.s
senate who has not been on any muddied
waters media shows i believe
well that’s that’s because i tell you
he’s not a real libertarian
but um but you should have him on he’s a
fun guy to talk to
yeah you can you can pretty much ask him
a question and probably fill the hour
nice he’s got the he’s got the gift of
gab
um but he’s one of those guys where like
it’s not like he just runs on and you’re
like
oh my god maybe my powers just will go
out
he’s at least interesting and you know
and you learn something that’s you know
so that’s the good news
oh and fun fact about fun fact about
bonnie she’s actually steve’s campaign
manager too so
which i don’t you can’t ride in my car
until you eat a pound of turkey bacon is
there any way to block her from watching
this like
i mean there is but she watches all of
our stu all of our shows so i’m not
going to block her from just this one
like i would forget and then later she’d
be like muddy waters media doesn’t want
me to watch
their stuff anymore because i talk about
turkey bacon
yeah but that would be fun for me though
they’ll be like i got someone kicked off
uh so let’s talk about let’s talk a
little bit about your campaign
um you have quite possibly the greatest
idea ever literally i have a lot of them
yeah
yeah uh i was going through your website
today
and uh you want to
it said you wanted to get rid of uh
parking uh
paid parking on saturdays in order to in
order to uh
increase business uh downtown of east
stroudsburg which i imagine is like two
blocks
yeah but you said you wanted to replace
the parking meters with gumball machines
and i really feel
as though this is just a much better
plan for raising money
than anything else really that’s what
i’m saying you know
if it’s a parking meter you’re going to
put in the bare minimum but if it’s a
gumball machine
you’re going to put in extras get some
gumballs you might might want you know
wrap one in a little napkin throw it in
your pocket save it for later you know
the kids the kids need gumballs
otherwise they won’t shut the hell up so
you gotta throw some extra quarters in
there
right this is a money-making idea and uh
you know and it’s and it’s not it’s not
stealing like it’s like taxation you’re
getting gumballs you know this is a
this is a good idea it’s a it’s a
pragmatic idea
i’d like to think you know but uh
and yeah i was thinking about that i was
like man even if you’re parked there you
go out you grab a couple of gumballs
give them to the kids and then anybody
walking by they really go well i need a
gumball and they’re
filling up ones that people aren’t even
parked at a brilliant idea i’m 100 for
this i think all parking meters
and not just gumballs like you could do
m m’s
yeah well you know handing out candy to
kids is how we’ve been doing a lot of
campaigning you know we just go
we drive around and ask kids if they
want any candy
you know it’s uh really gets people’s
attention that’s for sure a lot of fun
interactions with the police that way
too
um steven andrew witt says teeth
inspection
afterwards so you can like bring in the
vermin supreme mandatory
toothbrush
if he wants to be my deputy mayor i
would i would consider it we’d have to
vet him of course you know
find out about him a little bit but uh i
don’t see why we couldn’t do that
once i’m mayor i’m gonna be wearing a
top hat 24 7. so i think that would go
well with the uh
oh i just i i
was just on top of the headphones i
appreciate the
height of that top hat
i got that a lot the the top hat that uh
the gravy king matt hicks wears it it’s
it’s a glorified uh uh what’s that hat
called the
the it’s not the bowler it’s the other
one
oh yeah yep
yeah i’m not gonna think of it but i
know what you mean right um
matt hicks just needs to get a real top
hat um
i’ve met matt too and you know at least
i think he’s taking a strong stance
on the you-know-what uh subject of fake
bacon so
i do appreciate that about him um
that and i told you guys the story about
how i got like him and spike to just
scream at my ex-girlfriend from across
the street
yes that’s right when uh
when they were there in what’s it was
that in scranton
uh yes yes right yeah when when spike
was in scranton on the campaign
you were there and they were didn’t you
you guys got like
kicked out of a mall yeah yep we got
kicked out of the mall that had an
aquarium
and a delorean in it
okay um of all the balls to get kicked
out of like that does not sound like one
i would want to get kicked out of that
that would be like getting kicked out of
mall of america
just as you’re about to get on the
roller coaster
the only disappointing part was that it
was so damn hot outside
and uh you know spike was obviously in a
suit and i’m
just you know overweight and italian so
we were very much enjoying the air
conditioning in there
i don’t even think we got that many
signatures but we were like we
we’re gonna probably die outside so we
need to do this
bonnie just pointed out yes spike asked
a shirtless man having a beer in front
of the courthouse if he was registered
to vote
that did happen um
i tried to convince spike to use
campaign funds to get all of us a tall
boy beer
and hang out with the guy but he didn’t
want to
because you know it was shady or
something i’m like okay right yeah
the campaign finance laws i’m not sure
if you’re allowed to buy those things
i mean we’re campaigning you know if
you’re campaigning while you do it i
think it’s you know legal
as long as you don’t check or ask you
know right
so another thing that you wanted to do
and i’m actually kind of curious on how
you want to do this
um the voluntary yard work program
that you have pitched uh i agree
that you should not be able to find or
cite people for
uh leaving their sidewalks on your
shovel they’re their lawns too long
until
there is some program installed that
makes it so people who can’t do these
things can have it done
um but in it in your description of it
you said this would be people
who are out of work people who can’t
find other jobs who are young
whatever a way for them to voluntarily
go around and do these things
and receive money how would they receive
the money
um magic bitcoin probably
through bitcoin um and i’m not
the tech part of it i i’m not that smart
but i know people who are i figure if we
can set it up through the borough
website or through an
app um where you can pretty much match
with the people who need the work done
you got to be able to add a payment
feature on there somehow i mean
i got you know i got how many different
apps on my phone where i can get a
stack of cheeseburgers delivered to my
front door hey we could probably figure
out a way to get people
paid person-to-person or whatever or you
know we can link paypal venmo this that
the other thing to it
or like it’s ideally bitcoin because uh
we’re dogecoin it would be better
because it’s going straight
to the moon baby gotta have those
diamond hands
cut caught up with takashi 6’9
i did not think takashi 69 would come up
in any of my interviews yet here we are
yeah and you know
you probably never thought hand jobs
were gonna be talked about in any of
your interviews either but you know
you never know what’s gonna happen i
would have guessed that before takashi
six nine
um i don’t know why but
that one didn’t seem as outrageous to me
but
so we’ve had so we’ve had a ton of
guests
uh on muddied wires media in between
spike show my show and uh the one that
we do together
um were you the one that was saying
people were having their businesses shut
or they had to get permits to hang up
flags
they um i don’t know about the flags but
i
i was i do talk about um you know
permits and stuff and that
like yard sale permits and um permits
for like
sidewalk sales and permits for any
number of different things and i just
think it’s all
a bunch of bs i mean you pay how much in
rent or how much you know mortgage it’s
your property i don’t
if you want to have a yard sale and sell
your junk to other people i don’t care
like
right let’s do it and the business like
the business wants to have a sidewalk
sale that’s going to increase their
revenue which
by the way the state and the borough and
all that
they’re going to benefit from the
stealing of that
revenue anyway but why are you making it
harder for them to make the money that
you want to take from them
you’re just being stupid if you’re going
to steal from people at least be smart
about it
not even you’re not even trying yeah and
you see that a lot especially in
the local governments where like state
florida although many will argue florida
is the free estate in the nation
um but uh i believe
i don’t know this number exactly anymore
i used to but i think it’s something
like 91
of jobs in florida require some sort of
license
or permit um and whether you know that’s
waiting tape waiting tables real estate
uh
being a doctor for some reason i don’t
know um
but but 91 percent of all jobs and i
feel as though
they’ve really missed the mark on how
many jobs need licenses
um i feel as though that number is much
much lower than 91
maybe two yeah like
you know maybe if i’m going to have like
open heart surgery i’d feel pretty good
about my doctor having some licenses and
certifications but like
i don’t really give a [ __ ] if like the
corner store i go to has
a license to sell me beer because i’m
trying to drink beer
and i don’t give a damn if the state got
their money from in fact
if i know a store doesn’t have a license
i’ll probably go there first because
right it’s real estate but um
yeah and plus they’re gonna get it
through the uh through through the
sales tax anyway and florida granted
we are blessed with no income tax um
which is fantastic but we have that
other
thing right in the middle of the state
that disney place that brings in like
700 million in taxes from people coming
in
um so not bad yeah so
of course we don’t need to pay an income
so so since you don’t have a you know
you know an income tax
you should definitely buy some uh
virtual raffle tickets
to i don’t know like if there happened
to be some like
cool ass dude with a sweet beard and a
purple paisley jacket
who is like wrapping off something cool
for his campaign you know
that might be a good idea that you know
that how much our raffle hang on let’s
let’s
talk more about that before we just
before i agree to buy a bunch um so you
are raffling off
an ar-15 uh
nm competition upper yeah just the upper
which is
not i was just going to fire up
that’s written by our our weapons expert
uh
locally here and most of it i know what
it means but some of them just like i
i don’t even know how half this means i
just know it’s really really good
um so yeah an ar-15 uh
national match competition style upper
uh it’s
a five uh 556 caliber upper
flat top upper with removable handle
that has
a quarter moa hooded mnm
rear sight a krieger one
one two seven twist and ember i don’t
know what any of this means
um it’s it it shoots real good it shoots
real good
uh it meets the cmp
civilian marksmanship program i feel as
though that’s redundant
will fit on most m16 m4 ar15 lowers
will function using an m4 trigger free
floating hand
guards with full length picatinny rails
and made to use iron sights or with a
scope
user’s preference and if you want to
enter the raffle it is
20 dollars twenty dollars for a raffle
ticket
it goes two million dollars per ticket
man it’s cheap you know that’s a
that’s a high quality i i held that
upper and it’s
it’s heavier just the upper than um
any ar-15 i used to own before a boating
accident occurred
and uh that thing is a serious uh
serious piece of piece of steel right
there and uh
someone who donated to us is a certified
weapons
weapons expert she does she works in the
in the field and what not
probably one of the coolest people i
know and i definitely don’t want to piss
her off because
she knows her way around just about
every kind of weapon there is and it’s
terrifying
yeah tim mcmaster uh also from your
commonwealth
uh said twenty dollars per ticket that’s
a bargain at twice the price and i would
i would have to agree
the fact that uh not everybody in
this chat has already gone out to
purchase one because i posted the link
in there
gets four mayor dot com slash gun hyphen
rifle
um uh jacob blaze wants to know if
that’s being shipped anywhere
uh i believe that you told me yes
yeah um i’m 99.999
sure that since it’s an upper um there
really isn’t going to be much of an
issue with shipping it but i
also know even if even if there was some
sort of issue
you can pretty much ship anything you
want anywhere even if you have to go
through an ffl i mean worst case
scenario
we can get it shipped to an ffl area
federally
federal firearms license dealer near you
so like that’s worst case scenario and
i’m pretty sure with what it actually is
it’s
not even gonna be an issue and also as a
libertarian
okay i’ll run that [ __ ] myself let’s go
right
on that [ __ ] and i’ll bring it we’ll
bring you down we’ll bring that down
we’ll trade it for bitcoin and
just i don’t know whatever libertarians
like
dogecoin dogecoin and and and weed
um yeah mountain dew
baja blast from taco bell um
speaking of that i have to go
yeah but yeah everybody should get your
tickets and make sure to buy a lot
because um before we go out on the air
uh matt said he would buy 100 tickets so
yes i definitely said that i was going
to buy 100 tickets
yeah so if you want a chance to win
you’re gonna have to try to compete with
that you know
oh man tim mcmaster says that if i win
he’ll drive it to me personally which is
actually worth
me attempting to win um
just so i can get to mcmaster to drive
down in the middle of a campaign to
florida
yeah and i’ll even i’ll even sweeten
that deal a little bit i will give to
mcmaster my jacket which is
probably a good handful of sizes too
that’s not going to fit tim mcmaster
well yeah but you know you ever see
chris farley do fat guy in a little coat
he could pull that off for you you know
that’s that’s worth another 20 40 bucks
right there that’s actually kind of math
we do that
that’s actually i will i will pimp out
tim mcmaster for this
um chris peterson asked if we can get a
link for the rife
raffle uh i put one in already i posted
it again there for you chris
um it is in there gets for mayor.com
that’s the number four
uh and you can find it there yourself
um one of the more interesting things
that you have going on in your campaign
is uh you have a plan
for the 249th largest city in
pennsylvania
to overtake a city that is much lower on
the list
yeah they’re lower on every list to be
fair
um and yeah um
you know and i once i’m elected which
you know it’s not if i’m elected
obviously
obviously it’s when it’s when i’m
elected or
when i just storm the borough building
should i be
cheated out of a win but um
i’m gonna i’m gonna go to the i know the
mayor of strasbourg
very nice nice lady very very good mayor
and you know we’re just gonna make it
simple like hey
you you’re you know you’re not the mayor
here anymore i am
so we shouldn’t even need to invade them
i think if i just roll in with like a
tank top on they see the guns out
it ought to be it ought to be good
enough but yeah we’re gonna that’s one
of my campaign slogans is uh
we’re gonna make stroudsburg east again
um make stroudsburg east again um yeah
you just roll up into stroudsburg
t-shirt sun’s out guns out just yeah
well
i might not even wear a shirt i don’t
know to be honest with you and to be
honest with you i was thinking about if
i didn’t want to
you know take a bunch of [ __ ] from my
entire campaign team and everyone i know
i was gonna just be a jerk and like only
wear this blazer
with like no shirt underneath and see if
anybody called me on it
but then i was like everybody’s gonna
roast me so hard
well that really depended on how italian
you really are
it’s there’s nothing good under here
it’s just
there’s there’s no it’s i know everybody
makes the joke but if i had an only fans
people would pay me to put more clothes
on
it’s not good i’ll tell ya that oh
that’s a good
one from uh malik i think it is dude
it’s now sky’s out thighs out
oh because we’re going we’re are we
going back to the 1980s booty shorts for
guys the
the kareem abdul-jabbar these are way
too tall and i’m afraid my testicles are
gonna fall out of the leg
i mean i’m about half prepared for it
right now i got the golf shirt the
blazer and i’m wearing gym shorts so
you know that’s welcome to zoom you only
have to be professional from the top
from the top up when i was going through
the interview process for the job that i
that i have now that’s what like i was
wearing
a nice nice shirt tie jacket
and then shorts or maybe a pair of jeans
i don’t know like it depended on the
weather that day
and you know flip-flops just trying to
look very professional i actually in one
of the interviews that i did
i had a white board behind me and
i wrote across the whiteboard on either
side of my head it was like h-i-r-e-m-e
so it said hire me when they would read
it um
i was trying to subliminal subliminally
message them that they needed to hire me
um yeah i uh
i definitely can’t lose my job once all
this is over because i’ve really gotten
used to the uh
to the world being like from here up
because like
like i know this isn’t great but it’s
the best i got
you are a beautiful man i don’t know why
you continue to put yourself down like
that you are a gorgeous gorgeous man
and anybody who talks to you is just
lucky
to to have that interaction i mean
you’re right
um you would probably change your mind
if you could see all several of my chins
um but that’s why i got this bad boy you
know so
that’s fair i can’t i can’t like this i
shaved
sunday so yeah
either right so i’m like i’m trying to
give you the benefit of down and say oh
maybe he’s got light hair that’s right
no it’s just
no i’m like perpetually baby-faced um
and when when
people see me and i’ve got like that
ethan hawk from 1993 goatee going on
um that’s about a month worth of work
right there
uh holy crap i’ve seen you with the
goatee so that’s why i thought oh yeah
he could
he could grow a beard i didn’t realize
that yeah this
i shaved yesterday you know this
i just i woke up and i was like it’s
like you know tim allen in the the santa
claus or whatever
i just wake up and i’m like [ __ ] again
again again
i can’t help it oh
smooth last night yeah um
yeah i am i did my my dream
was to be able to grow a beard one day
in my life and that is the only dream in
my life i have given up on
um because i’m just like that’s never
gonna happen uh
i mean if i if i do ever shave we can
get somebody to make like a wig out of
it
a facelift a face wig a uh
a merkin for my face
i think i think
i think another on the face merkin
another good fundraiser would be that
like between me you and spike
for like a 200 campaign donation
if we can have a serious interview for
more than three minutes
i’d god that would i don’t think we can
i don’t think we can
and if we could it would cost people so
much money because we would have to
really try for three whole minutes to be
serious
it would we would just have to be
sitting here like this for three minutes
just not speak and then like like a like
an alarm would go off and be like we can
talk about have jobs again
if we start like it wait wait until
2024 if spike runs and then you know
really start
ramping up the hand job talk um
yeah um if spike runs again i’m gonna
demand to be on the show again
just so i could have a background that
says like spike cohen
2024 a hand job is better than no job
you know that’s going to be spike if
that’s not spike going
if that’s not his slogan i’m not voting
for him i’ll vote for whoever the hell
the greens run before i vote for spike
without that slogan
well vote for crazy joe in his half
sentences or whatever
uh liberty uh liberty shamrocker uh
says it’s a toss-up whether it would be
me or you as the weakest link
in the being serious for three minutes
bet
between me me and you yeah
oh well oh yeah that’s tough yeah
because spike could prob
spike could pull it off because he’s a
statist but
oh yeah i wonder which one yeah we’re
going to figure that out one day
i can’t imagine what i never thought i
would hear somebody called spike cohen a
statist
i mean i never thought somebody would
bring up hand jobs
30 seconds into one of my interviews but
here we are it’s a night of first
yeah that’s fair that’s absolutely fair
i i
kind of wish it had happened like during
the the muddy waters interview just to
like see the look of utter
disappointment on his on spike’s face
but
he probably would have just laughed and
be like i don’t know why i talked to
anyone
anymore i have no idea why i continued
doing this show
um
but man we kind of busted through
everything so we just get them
so you have a population of 10 333 in
your city
i don’t know if you knew that i learned
that today
yeah well you know it’s about to go up
by a little bit you know once we take
stroudsburg
um then we’re not gonna stop there then
it’s gonna go up by
5029 yeah so you know
and but they’re they’re half they’re
half of them what are they going to do
they’re going to stop us that’s
not going to stop it i mean no i can go
back to that it’s not like afghanistan
was able to hold off the united states
military
for 20 years um well yeah but that was
just one time it’s not like vietnam was
able oh
[ __ ] well never mind we’ll just it’s not
important
there’s no there’s no rice paddies in
stroudsburg or all right
tim mcmaster says that your new uh
slogan should be gets for mayor handjobs
and merkins for all
well i think it’s cute that tim mcmaster
thinks that’s not already my slogan
wow
i i just don’t know how to feel about
anything that’s happening right now
right i i think i think i just lost
i personally can’t wait to find this on
your website tomorrow
um oh yeah we’re gonna have to
uh yeah michelle’s probably watching
this michelle i hope you know how to
edit videos
really well really well we can use about
48 seconds of it right i do i do have to
say
um whoever your graphics department is
um it’s michelle that’s michelle she
does much better work on graphics than i
do
michelle’s freaking outstanding uh yeah
she she did the website she took the uh
the photos on my website she made me
look like a
well-adjusted adult who didn’t just roll
out of bed and make a drink
who is wielding axes at parking meters
well okay to be fair that was like a log
splitting axe and they’re not as sharp
so like
it was sketchy i was like hey you need
to take these photos fast because
this is definitely not good because of
course i got the photo where i’m trying
to break into the municipal building and
i was like
this would be a great press release for
the campaign if i can just get arrested
taking photos breaking into the
municipal the municipal building
or trying to do destruction to city
property
yeah well if the cops came while i was
just taking a picture of it then i
probably would have actually started
trying to rip them down because
if you’re going to go to jail then you
may as well do it
go for the felony baby we had a guy here
in pinellas county um and he was running
for sheriff and instead of
buying signs what he did was he did um
environmentally friendly signs or clean
signs is what he called them
and he would uh power wash his
logo and his name and it was like
mclinus
for a sheriff for county sheriff into
the all the sidewalks onto like the
that’s
brilliant it was so brilliant and he
started getting in trouble for it and he
was like i’m
just cleaning up really i’m not doing
anything illegal and they couldn’t get
him on anything
so they started power washing his uh his
his clean signs off
but they would only wash off that
section so
it would be like dirty clean dirty
clean it was like every other
block was every other sidewalk block was
uh
completely spotless leave it to the
government to get mad at you for
making things cleaner for making it
slightly cleaner than it already was
how dare you do this on government
property
government property should be filthy and
disgusting
just like the government it’s not like
we take your taxes for this show
wait oh yeah that’s actually part of
what we take them for
is to clean up this mess and not
our friends now we just we just take it
for like
pensions and cocaine right
wait actually that’s the that’s the
libertarian party slogan i think well
just cocaine
just cocaine yeah um that’s also
a tallahassee slogan in the 70s if you
throw in prostitutes
um wait just the 70s i thought it still
was
it probably is but i found out recently
that back in the 70s
um they had trailers behind the capitol
building
in tallahassee where where
people in the house and the senate would
take
their favorite sex worker and uh
that’s where they would meet them and
then they would give them money and they
would just
go back to their homes in tallahassee
i want to make fun of that but also also
respected
yeah like i guess as long as they
weren’t using taxpayer money for it like
i don’t know
that’s the only thing i mean if they
were using their government salary it is
taxpayer money
um [ __ ]
yeah all right well that’s like the one
thing where they’re they’ll be like yeah
we use your taxpayer money for this i’d
be like all right well i mean
[ __ ] i guess it’s better like i’d rather
you use it up for that than like
dropping bombs on afghanistan or
something so whatever
like so you know totally on board sex
work is real work and i think that um
you know you should be able to make
money however you want to as long as
you’re not hurting somebody else
but if a government official is going to
lock me up for uh hiring you
he should also get locked up
hey you know if yeah you know hey if
hookers and blow is what’s going to save
lives overseas and i think we all need
to just take one for the team
exactly
hookers and blow save lives overseas um
yes for mayor that is 100 like if i ever
run for
anything um that’s going to be my
that’s going to be my campaign slogan uh
you are planning on i did forget to
write this down but you’re planning on
decriminalizing marijuana in east
stroudsburg
oh yeah yeah we are um whichever
i say that then people look at my face
and they’re like i totally understand
why
and i’m like i don’t actually i don’t
even i don’t even partake
okay yeah i’m like no i’m serious like i
don’t it’s just
you know the the usual libertarian
reason of why the hell are we putting
people in jail for this
like it’s insane um
but yeah we’d like to i’d like to try to
get that across and then try to get to
get the other get other cities and
boroughs and townships in the areas to
start working on it
and then maybe like at some point the
state will
figure it out but i don’t have i’m
probably not gonna hold my breath on
that one
yeah i wouldn’t um they get a lot of
funding from uh people in philadelphia
and pittsburgh
who are on probation um
so not thinking that’s happening anytime
soon
uh because they need some other way to
not pay for public schools
um
which is why you should vote for joe
soloski
when he’s in the state senate he’s
making legalization a priority
that’s right tim mcmaster tim mcmaster
is um
one of the coolest guests we’ve ever had
on our show
like there’s a former the goat farming
former wrestler is like one of the most
interesting people i’ve ever met like
right who like works in i.t and hates it
but knows how to build things that
aren’t exactly yeah
right
the more he talked i was just like i i i
want to move to pennsylvania now i don’t
even care about
i hate everything about that
commonwealth um
yeah like the more you talk to more i’m
like i feel like you’re actually eight
different people stitched together
and i’m very confused but at least all
eight people are awesome
he has dissociative identity disorder
and there’s like seven of them in there
and he’s just like well no i’m just
gonna accept all of them and we’re just
gonna run this together
vote for tim mcmaster you get eight
people in one
um yeah metal drummer forgot about metal
drummer
oh jesus yeah yeah we get it tim you’re
cooler than me
god this is my interview
jesus
every time every time if you can call
this an interview you’re being real
generous
this is my i don’t know drunken bar
conversation all right this is my
[ __ ] show with a guy who doesn’t drink
um hey you know that
sometimes you gotta party enough for two
people that’s what i’m here for
i’m here to party
um
we actually that’s some delicious mud
water that it is
well this isn’t mud water this is calve
it looks a lot like it though
mud water is a fantastic coffee
alternative
that will wake you up this is kava which
looks like mud water
and how we got our name but it is not
mud water this is cava from the
fantastic people at siestacava.com
um yes i am also drinking
mud water except it’s rum and coke right
that’s not
that’s the type of mud water really kind
of yeah um
if you drink enough you’ll you know if
you drink enough you’ll wake up in mud
just pass down a [ __ ] that
that is exceptionally fair man i knew
that when you were going to come on
this interview was going to go off the
rails i did not expect it that early and
from me
but um
i think i was so mad is it really does
it really count as going off the rails
if it just
starts off the rails and then never gets
back on
no yeah
just kind of like off-roading right we
never went off the rails we just never
were on them yeah we were
this was an off-road interview and i and
i like that
um this is good this is good you know
this helps us both
throw our you know our interview and
interview skills you know this is good
for everybody involved uh
other than the listeners but you know
who cares
i don’t know i think the listeners are
actually enjoying this one more than
most of my others
um well they
they all require serious medical
help then probably but um i think
they’re all just in the hand jobs in
cocaine
but i mean that doesn’t make him bad
people no
no that just makes him american that
just makes him libertarian as hell
uh how libertarian are you
i’m into hand jobs and cocaine
yeah when you guys start the episode
next week i want you to
just really hammer that question on
spike
very first thing like we need we have a
question for you before we start and if
he doesn’t answer just walk off
walk off on him again i’ve done that on
so many shows where i just got up and
left
yeah just leave just just leave um
we the people need answers you know it’s
important uh
now like trump the eskimo libertarian
says she’s getting excellent campaign
ideas and
you know really as long as we are
educating at least one person
that’s all that truly matters uh with
these episodes
that’s what i always tell people you’re
gonna learn a lot from me
um you know maybe not like directly you
might look at me and go wow i’m gonna
not do that [ __ ] but you’re still gonna
learn
one way or another right
um bonnie says let’s make a t-shirt and
i will 100
wear that shirt if you make a shirt that
says joel gets hookers and cocaine
i mean i will wear that on
multiple episodes of the muddied waters
of freedom or this show
i i’m i don’t know if i’ll wear it at
easeburg but i’ll wear it
i think i might have to wait until after
november for that but
it’s going to make a great campaign
souvenir tell you that much
i might wear that to like i don’t know
like interview but
you should go what are your strengths
right here on my shirt baby
you should make one that says um
eliminate yard sale permits and uh get
rid of parking meters and then
underneath it really small
you misspelled hookers and cocaine
debts for me yeah we started this thing
at work wherever like whenever we say
something just blatantly outrageous to
get each other
to laugh or tell some horrible joke we
just end it with guests from air
it’s it’s turned into quite the fun game
but yeah we’ll just tell some horrific
joke and i’m like
guess
this entire episode gets for mayor they
started out talking
they started out talking about hand jobs
behind waffle house and they ended up
with hookers and cocaine
well i mean if your show is sponsored by
waffle house i don’t know what you
expect to happen the waffle house talk
is anyway i mean like
that’s it just is what it is like this
is what the people want this is what the
people get
right i don’t i i and i feel as though
the ceo of waffle house is not sitting
there watching the show right now
thinking
that’s not our target demographic he’s
going yeah no no sure
yeah i don’t think we’re like i don’t
think we’re changing i don’t think we’re
hurting their brand identity i think
we’ve just described
their brand identity
like if you breathe too hard through
your nose in a waffle house
you’re ingesting cocaine
you’re at least you’re ingesting
something um
whether it’s possibly hooker right
whether it’s cocaine
or uh stripper
residue
this is good practice for my radio
interview next week
i uh i can’t wait to hear that one um
it’s probably gonna be a lot different
yeah i would i would imagine that it’s
going to be completely different from
this one
um i told you before this show started i
was excited because i knew we were gonna
have fun
and now i regret that but
i i knew he would have fun i didn’t
think we might get taken off of facebook
i’ve already been taken off once and i
don’t even know why so
um yeah yeah i still i still haven’t
been banned by facebook because i’m not
a real libertarian but
yeah i got when i got banned uh i didn’t
even do anything
they didn’t tell me why i was just gone
i
had gotten one suspension like six years
beforehand
for 24 hours and then i woke up one day
it’s just gone
my my wonderful girlfriend superfan
sarah anderegg comes in and she
puts coffee like i’m waking up and she
puts coffee down
and she’s like here i made you breakfast
and i was like
what is happening
why did you let me sleep until 11
o’clock in the afternoon and now you’re
bringing me
is it my birthday did i sleep a lot and
she was like so i have some bad news
okay your facebook got deleted and i was
like
what it was a good breakfast though
the coffee was good
that’s amazing and that’s why we have
the mewi group where you can chat with
us live
um
that’s amazing so
um that’s pretty much all the time we
have
so uh i feel like we hit some we hit
some important topics
i think we did we did good we didn’t
have all of our time taken up by
you know creepy singing voices or
whatever the hell that mixtape song was
holy [ __ ] i still i still
like have nightmares that i i
i think i’m pretty sure everybody
stopped looking for it after that
because they were like oh
i don’t want to hear any more of this
we should all be making sure like a
child doesn’t actually find this
by accident or something this is not
good
um so uh gets for mayor.com
yes sir the number four dot com g-e-t-z
for mayor dot com uh and while you are
there you can spend
twenty dollars per raffle ticket to get
an ar-15
i don’t have that it pulled up anymore
um
it’s a beautiful professionally made
ar-15 upper and uh buy as many raffle
tickets as you want
obviously the more you buy the better
your chance of winning and you have to
try to defeat
uh matt wright who said he would buy 100
100 tickets
um and at gets4mayor.com you can
also donate to the joel gets for mayor
campaign um which
if you’re going to give him 20 bucks buy
the raffle ticket if you want to give
him
uh 10 bucks you cheap bastards uh
just give him 10 bucks but spend the 20
and get the raffle ticket and maybe you
get something out of this
yeah yeah and oh and by the way there
are second and third place
prizes of a uh tactical knife
and a uh survival flash camping kit that
has some
assorted wilderness goodies in it
excellent i’ve got multiple friends that
will probably be rooting for third place
now
um if the camping gear is third place i
don’t even know
um well i don’t either joel
thank you so much for coming on um i
really really hope that east stroudsburg
gains 5033 people in a few months
um so that way you will have been
crowned victor
of your race i hope so
thank you so much for having me on and
uh i just got to figure out a way to
weasel back into your shows again
yeah no i’m certain that i will have you
on uh before your election
um if you want to hang out for a little
bit i’m going to close this thing out
and
i will talk to you in just a moment
sounds good
oh look there’s joe siloski again um to
everybody else thank you so much for
tuning in
um next week make sure i’m on the right
week
next week we have a huge week of muddied
waters planned
i think uh well actually this weekend
spike is going to be in tennessee
uh doing some work with brent ritter um
and his group uh so if i think they’re
going to be in the nashville area so if
you’re around that area uh
look him up find out where they’re going
to be swing in say what’s up
and uh do some good work next week on
the muddy waters of freedom tuesday
night 8-ish
allegedly we have chris manning
uh coming on running in a special
election
in new mexico for congressional district
one
um somebody said unless spike goes to
ohio again which he’s not he’s going to
tennessee
which as a former resident of that state
is a much better state
um but yes we have chris manning next
tuesday eight o’clock
um and then on the 12th
on my fellow americans spike has
professor
courtney cahill who is going to be
discussing
the anti-trans laws being proposed
and why now and what is driving them and
then next
thursday right here on the writer’s
block
i don’t know you are gonna have to tune
in to find out
who it’s gonna be because that is how
big of a guest this is
uh so tune in all next week if you’re in
the tennessee
area of the united states swing into
sorry
joel is walking around in his jacket
and polo shirt and basketball shorts and
it’s
absolutely hilarious um if you’re in
tennis in the tennessee area of the
united states
swing by find spike cohen this weekend
tell him i said hi
um and then tune in next tuesday for a
brand new episode
of the muddy waters of freedom
uh thank you all very much for tuning in
um i can’t tell you how much i
appreciate it week in and week out
uh keep up all the good work you’re
doing for
muddied waters media for the writer’s
block i am matt wright
and you are perfect just the way you are
[Music]
i am
i am swinging from a seven-story window
throwing parties
[Music]
as a life raft
[Music]
in the evening news
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
i am waving while i
[Music]
don’t bother swimming out to save me i
will only drag you
to convince a whole damn world i don’t
need anybody’s