Mr Bearded Truth – 40 – Persevering through our own ailments with Spike Cohen.

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hey spike hey what did the drummer
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name his twin daughters
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and a one and a two
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hello and welcome to mr america the bearded truth covering political and social issues one liberty at a time with
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entertaining insights of current events and important discussions on topics that affect us all shining the torch of liberty and
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brightening the future by bringing libertarianism into our everyday life and now your host the friendly
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neighborhood libertarian jason lyon mr murica on muddy waters media
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hello everybody welcome in what a fantastic intro that was i loved it
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spike hated it and you know you’ve got the dad joke pro here
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he hates me so much right now and that’s fine it’s gonna be a good show tonight so as
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you guys can see i have spike cohen joining me later on we will be talking a little bit about
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basically what’s been ailing people right spike cohen is somebody who um is a champion in so many different ways
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for the for burying the torch of liberty and bringing that around and just inspiring our communities to be better
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to to connect with one another and to set home just to set the world
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uh on it on a whole nother platform of looking at liberty in a much better direction you guys could have seen him
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last night on um on tim poole’s irl show he did a fantastic job
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challenging people and challenging their ideas just changing hearts and minds of millions but
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before we can bring on the man the myth of legend let’s knock out some of the uh the
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important housekeeping so thank you of course to spike cohen and matt wright for letting
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me come on here continuing to use this platform to share out my opinions my views my stances on everything and bring
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on incredible guests each and every week thank you to brian scott lambrick and to
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jenny for the intro that we use on this episode and every episode of muddy or of mr mark of the beard of truth
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thank you to mighty waters media because this is the best platform out there and thank you guys for of course going over
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to anchor dot fm slash subscribe slash nope
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nope anchor dot fm slash muddy waters subscribe spike is in here coaching me as we’re
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doing this where you guys can be a part of the exclusive group where you get the third episode of matt and spike show you’ll be
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able to get the muddied murica where me and matt dive deep into uh specific topics of current events where you guys
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get to direct us you guys get to tell us what to talk about and we’ll cover those things in an incredible way
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um but of course wherever you guys are hearing this if you’re on facebook
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youtube twitter twitch float odyssey thank you guys so much for interacting
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with those posts for liking them for sharing them for hearting them for interacting with people’s comments for
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commenting in the in general if you’re on youtube make sure you hit that notification bell
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if you guys are listening to later at a later time on the podcast taking us on the go hitting the gym
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uh doing whatever it is that you’re doing away from just watching us thank you so much make sure you guys give us a five star review
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there was recently in one of the libertarian groups we got listed as a as a big massive libertarian platform
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because you know how amazing we are but uh but we need some more of those five star reviews so thank you guys
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for each and every one of those and continue to help building us out so thank you guys so much for that and we gotta get uh
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a big shout out dapper squirrel in honor of this conversation this weekend or of
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of tonight in honor of mental health crises that we’ve seen as a result of covid as a as a result of mental health
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just being put on the back burner for a lot of people and a big push to address this the dapper squirrel has this incredible shirt where
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you guys can get 30 off um i do have a link in the description of this video but if you guys
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check out that shirt i mean dear person behind me the world has a better place with you in it lots of love
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signed the person in front of you it’s such a nice sweet tender message it’s wholesome i feel like if somebody
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was to make a wholesome sabbath meme page post i mean that would
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that would be it embodied in a shirt spike is still coaching me in my ears
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you guys i wish you guys could hear him but it’ll be in a little bit two events coming up that i gotta share
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out uh in ohio columbus ohio if you’re in the area august 20th or 21st make sure you guys
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are heading over to the criminal justice reform summit uh the link is also in the description you guys
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check this out we’re going to have some incredible speakers uh i believe
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even snoop doggy dog may be uh appearing in some form or fashion for the evening
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of course spike cohen will be there i will be there the always incredible kelsey line will be there just a
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libertarian rock show event if you will but we’re gonna be learning about how to engage with our communities and
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everything else so if you guys are in the area it is a free event for all ages and they will be catering food head on
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down there check out the links and sign up today that’s uh saturday and sunday august 20th and 21st
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if you guys are looking for something to do on election night head on down to brevard florida head on
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down to the one and only melbourne florida there’s no other melbourne in the world
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right because australia doesn’t exist i don’t want to hear a chat melbourne does not exist anywhere but in
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florida so on november 8th come on down see spike cohen and myself and as well as jordan marlow what who’s
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jordan marlow he is a libertarian mayor who was elected and then re-elected and shelley the
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brazilian porcupine who doesn’t love porcupines get down there sign up come meet us come hang out with us if
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you guys are just looking to to brand out your uh your company you’ve got an online business a podcast they’re looking for
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sponsors to help distribute this out so that they can continue to change hearts and minds down there in brevard county
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florida and last but not least big shout out to kelsey lion designs if
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you guys are a campaign you guys got events you guys got anything going on and you want to take it to the next level kelsey lion designs is the woman
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for you head on down there check them check her out she will build your logos your branding business cards
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publications she’s built out websites for people she’s worked for some incredible people such as spike cohen
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for natalie bruno for ashley shade for joe jorgensen just an incredible list of libertarians she will take care of you
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as well so head on down there use the code muddy water she’s going to hook you up with a discount you’re going to like the way you look
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men’s warehouse karen guarantees it but without further ado you guys know him as bazooka jew you guys know him as that
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guy on twitter you guys know him as potentially the summer summer boy
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chirp but i know him what was it was it was that the one from kim
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some reporter this sweet summer no no this
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the sweet sweet summer boy the sweet summer boy there we go the sweet summer boy sweet boy i know him i haven’t been
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called in a while i know him as spike we have the the nards cohen
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oh god that’s from kennedy that is from bernards is from kennedy yeah that was actually was the last time that
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you came on was just after that that segment was not that nice afterwards but a couple days later
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it’s tasha’s husband yes spike it’s does it go much anything but his name
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is i’m doing good man how are you doing i’m doing great
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so i got a little bit of housekeeping so going back i want to circle back to a couple things you said so we’re circling
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back here in this show is this what we’re doing no i just because apparently no one can hear me so i’m just now retracing some of the things that i was
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saying to you which was apparently nothing but distraction so kelsey
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uh made spike cohen.com she designed spikecoin.com so
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i’m not saying you should go over to spikecoin.com and then over to you or the power.com what i’m saying is if you
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end up at spitecoma.com that whole thing was designed by kelsey it’s absolutely
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mwah and uh exactly to the way that i asked and uh and and very very
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affordable and uh you should go and hire her for all of your design needs
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boom that’s silly and then
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talked about oh i need that picture uh so i can make the whole sabbath meme the thing with the people in the back and
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then the link and then i’ll say yeah that’s when he but i just need the i need some do i
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need two things this is important for me to say during a live show but what i need are the photo
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of the two people with with their arms around each other so people can read it i just need that and then the actual
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link so i can put that in the comments you know who that is
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who well this guy oh oh huh huh
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and that’s kelsey and there’s baby kiara hey look oh wow so you’re so you’re about to be a star a
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meme star potentially i mean yeah i i just pulled the spike cohen by oh
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oh never mind i didn’t pull sweat coke hey this is a live show stop derailing the live show jason i was i was gonna pick
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up the shirt but the shirt was not there um so but but nonetheless yes we’re gonna
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get okay so get that get that to me and then we’re gonna do whatever the thing was i just said and i’ll put hold on what i’m saying
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haltom savage it’s not sabbath how are you gonna put it up today’s
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today’s friday right today’s friday i thought yeah friday night jews are our
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day starts the night before i thought yours was saturday it is saturday but jewish saturday
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the jewish day starts sundown the day before my whole world has been a lie
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it’s it’s that the jews
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give a kiss to saturday no it’s it’s sundown
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our days start on sundown okay and that’s why we always win
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because it’s our day we start our day when the [ __ ] go to bed that’s the the space lasers creation
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time is yes you can’t make a space laser if you wake up at sunrise
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there you go there we go all right so today’s that’s a quote because being lighthearted is what we do
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here we gotta we gotta dive into something that’s uh really important to to me especially you’ve been an
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inspiration to me you’ve helped me out even even since the the time of thinking that this should have been a
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show idea um millions of americans right now are suffering from mental illness ailments
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or physical ailments um i i think that this is a good opportunity because people know you as the god as a
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myth as a legend as somebody who’s infallible unbreakable you stand up
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against the gods of the atf and and nothing can can shatter your arguments
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um it’s very polytheistic but sure yeah but
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that’s not always been the spike cohen of you know you’ve not always been this this person
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that’s been able to to persevere through that you’ve had some down times you’ve had sometimes of deep deep darkness
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and you know for myself you know yours was was more of the ms and and i’ll let
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you explain that mine was having ptsd where you know some of the days are our struggle just to to move
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around and it’s not it’s not a physical thing for me it’s not my body fighting myself it’s just
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the thoughts in my head and everything else so i wanted to have this conversation because as we’re looking out across the world i
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i feel like this is a topic that we don’t cover enough and so i wanted to hear from you
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like a little bit of your story if you’re if you’re willing to share that and and talk about some of the some of
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the mindset shifts that you had to go through in order to get out of that absolutely well i’m less so uh wanting
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to share anything after that opening joke but here i am i mean it’s live so that’s a fantastic joke i can’t get out
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now i mean this would look bad if i just left i mean this is my house i could just leave i could just leave but i i’m not
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you know anyway no i i’m i’m happy to i i like you in fact i’ve i’ve been finding this
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year especially uh that it’s been on my heart to share this more and more
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as the main thing i share uh last not yeah last weekend i was in dc speaking
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at the uh students for liberty leadership summit there’s these like college kids and uh and college recent
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college grads from all over the planet that have come to this to you know talk about being the future leaders of the
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liberty movement and you know i’m the keynote speaker and i was like okay well these kids are being inundated
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with you know everything they need to know to be a leader right like they’re getting the who what the when the where they’re
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getting everything that they need to be leaders effectively by people that are probably even better at it than i am
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right so i thought okay well what would i have needed to hear at what would i in retrospect have
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needed to have heard in that age from someone that i you know respected and cared about what they had
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to say and it was the why like the the finding out who you are as a person
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making sure that you’re doing something not just because it’s what you’re supposed to do but actually what the
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purpose is behind it and so i gave this this talk that i felt like this sort of this random like this this like uh
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like sprawling meandering conversation and i thought well i hope that connected and i mean based on the reaction that i
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got i i think it connected very well it turned out that uh there are a lot of people that that want to hear this so i
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have found more and more that i’m talking about this and that’s probably a good thing because my background the ms
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actually wasn’t where my my problem started in fact if anything in retrospect the ms was probably
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the were you just asking me if i was going to say yes or no or did you just want me to go okay i don’t know if you were just
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like like i you just wanted me to go yes and then we’d start talking or if you
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wanted me to go straight in to talk about spike i i i wanna so first there’s
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an uh an announcement i needed to make and i failed to do this yes uh so in honor of your 40th birthday this is the
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40th episode of mr bearded truth oh wow
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incredible planned probably not but we’re gonna say it was um wow
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it’s all come full circle no i’m not gonna point out that your chair is half your age i’m not gonna point that out
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again all right [Laughter] i didn’t do it
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i didn’t do nothing so before we went live i pointed out that this chair has been
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with me through thick and thin that i bought this chair uh the same time that i bought my first home
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uh actually before i went no yeah around the time i bought my first home and i said wow that means i’ve had it
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for for over 20 years and he went yeah they’ll top the rage
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i didn’t i didn’t do nothing i didn’t do hey let me i’m going to destroy your your life with that simple
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math now you know how the atf feels that that’s my js nation now you know how the atf feels
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each and every day that you wake up is that what i do you believe that’s right because i just
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point out simple facts and it like ruins everything i’m gonna get past this this is gonna be
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a show about my this show now is about me persevering through that
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and then that joke that you opened with that joke so despite the existence of
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simple math that hurts and that specifically that joke
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uh i am going to make it all the way through this episode so the second and then so
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the second okay still doing this okay yeah so that was just the first one the second one was i
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shared it on my my profile of what happens if you ask for spike for a simple yes or no answer and he says i’m
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not going to go into paragraphs and then it proceeds to be a partitioned paragraph so i did that
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hey spike can you help okay would you mind doing something yes and before i uh yeah
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so anyways no go ahead i i want to hear it all that’s i did i did ask you an open-ended question that way i was not a
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simple yes or no okay good hi folks spike cohen here
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um so i okay so my uh
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here the way i like to word it is this i have learned and i’m now going back to what i’ve learned now
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um this is you’re about to find out why i felt like what i said to the kids was meandering because it’s kind of all over the place but
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i’ve now since learned that all of us have this i guess we’ll call it a somebody suit
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okay and it’s it’s it’s something that is created and this isn’t by the way this isn’t done as a harmful thing and
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it’s not necessarily bad in and of itself but it’s this sort of persona that is being created for you uh for by
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uh your parents your guardians your closest loved ones around you possibly even before you’re born but certainly by
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once you are born so it’s similar to the way that like um you’ll see how people
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will like anthropomorphize uh pets and they’ll like say oh look who’s shot who’s happy and like the dog’s just
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sitting there like you know whatever we do it for babies too the difference is the dog’s never going to have to come
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into that suit that you’ve created for them but the baby does so as the baby
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becomes a toddler becomes you know and is able to start talking and as they are psychologically and cognitively uh
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maturing and growing they’re coming into something that has been created for them and it starts with
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oh look you shop but it eventually is oh he’s this type of person he’s that type of person or she is you know she’s really into this
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or she’s really that or you know our family our women do this or our men do this and it’s not again it’s nothing
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harmful it’s just the nature of what happens when you raise a child and so
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when you grow into this thing you kind of already have this this little suit that’s tailored for you that helps
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define who and what you are and we all react differently to it i changed my name like some of us just completely no
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none of this is me i’m doing my own thing some so you know people react differently some people just take it and
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go wow this is a perfect fit and go on or they wear it and go you know what it’s going to be really tough for me if i don’t just wear this thing so i’m
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going to do it some people tailor it to their needs uh and in reality we all kind of tailor it at least a little bit
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over time some of us completely throw it away and put on a new one but we’re conditioned both with a uh what i call a
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somebody suit this sort of like this is the the person that i put forward uh you know i guess they’d call it the ego um
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or the persona um and then uh and then just not just that suit but the idea that that’s how you craft who you are
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sort of creating this persona around you and so and there’s nothing again there’s nothing inherently wrong with it you go
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about the day and you’re being who you wish to be or you you are presenting who you wish others to see right but
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what happens is because uh human beings are hardwired like subconsciously to be
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able to program their own brains uh there and that can be used for positive or negative uh because of that
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you can very quickly uh if you don’t watch it or if you don’t know any better you can fall into this
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trap of trying so hard to create this persona for yourself that that’s really all you’re doing
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everything your why of why you do everything that you do becomes this persona
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yeah and that might not really be what you’re about you may have lost yourself in the process i 100 lost myself in the
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process because i had a a somebody suit that had begun to be created for me and
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that i you know took the parts i liked and and you know removed or changed the parts i didn’t like but i had this you
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know this persona i was putting forward and it led to uh and it was something that i
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kind of worked on throughout my my you know childhood years my teenage years and into my early adulthood um and i’m
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not sure it ever truly ends um but uh the long story short is that uh as a
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result of me primarily focusing on putting forward a persona
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i had very very and probably also genetics and and you know uh genetic predisposition or whatever else
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um i had very very severe depression and anxiety
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starting as early as i can remember um seven to eight years old like and probably earlier than that um very very
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severe and so by the time i was 13 i was doing drugs i was doing drugs uh at the
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time i thought well you know drugs are cool or whatever but i wasn’t doing it because drugs are cool i was doing it
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because i was desperately looking for something to uh make me feel okay and enough yeah just to detach away from
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what you were going through anyway just to anyway it to detach from it and to just have moments of feeling like okay
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i’m i’m enough i’m okay this is okay and the the thing about drugs is
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they do that uh it’s that’s the problem with drugs is that uh drugs are a pill
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or a thing that you can take or consume in some way that make you feel like you’re enough and that’s scary because
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then it wears off it’s not like it stays it wears off and that’s the problem so um or at least that’s what it did for me
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and so uh and and you know amazingly um shout out to myself i was
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actually able to start and grow a successful business during all of this so i didn’t not only did i not hit rock
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bottom i was actually soaring up which made me feel like oh hey this is
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this is good i did a great job hey thanks drugs right so uh and that’s another quote uh there’s gonna be many
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quotables uh uh so far only two of them uh moving forward but uh so i thought
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well hey thanks drugs that’s great and then at some point i realized the depression was really seeping back in it
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was really getting worse and i thought well it’s not the success that’s the problem it’s the drugs right so i over
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over the course of i i stopped first with the hard stuff and i stopped with cannabis and then i
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realized that my uh drinking which had always been kind of minor was never really that intense it was starting to
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really ramp up pretty quickly and so i stopped doing that too and then without realizing it i replaced
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uh my drug addiction which uh i’ve been sober for over 16 years now it’s kind of congratulations
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well thank you that’s incredible that’s i thought you were going to tell me how what percentage of my life that was you know
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it’s an insignificant percentage it’s fine no it’s nothing nothing i’m so old it doesn’t even
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matter so uh uh but so i i unbeknownst to me what i really did was
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i i replaced that addiction with my new addiction which was success which was
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hyper focusing on that somebody suit i’m this successful you know alpha male
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jewish guy and i’m yeah i i eat breathe and and poop success that’s my third
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quote and uh i uh this is just great great someone needs to make these all like like info pick quotes
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okay good um but you know i i had created this thing and it was who i was i was spike cohen i was this like really
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young guy who like had this you know successful business and that’s who i am
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okay great and then i even you know i i met an incredible uh a credible woman who i am
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now married to and uh and you know so on on paper or in appearance
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my life is going great i am have this you know successful company i’m involved in these startups i’m this you know very
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successful entrepreneur um and i’ve got this beautiful loving amazing wife and
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uh you know i’ve uh you know got a loving and supportive family and network of friends everything on paper is like
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wow this guy’s life is great i could not have been more miserable and i kept
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getting more miserable and in retrospect what the day that i woke up
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and couldn’t feel the most basic i could barely feel the right side of my body
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from my neck down began as horrifying as the next two years were really two and a half years
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um as horrifying as those years were that began the process of me fixing the
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problems that i had and it really because it took being told you have ms
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and not just you have ms but then the realization that
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it was interesting the ms was sort of this like baptism by fire like all i cared about was getting
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better and i had never really at that no other point in my life had i ever thought you got to get better you got to
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get better because i always could kind of convince myself everything was okay yeah you had like a could i say like you
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you had like a sense like you’re just going to live for a long time you haven’t had any issues up to this point there’s nothing stopping you
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i’ll deal with that later and it was with everything i was about almost 100 pounds overweight um my doctors were
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saying to me i mean you know look uh you’re getting into your 30s now and
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stuff that might have been okay you know your cholesterol it really shouldn’t be like this when you’re above 30 and you’re you’re your blood pressure is
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pretty bad and not liking that blood sugar number like it was all it wasn’t quite
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your your pre-diabetic or you’re you know but it was you’re hypertensive and
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we need to get that down and i’m like yeah yeah that’s okay i’m just in my early 30s i can fix this later right
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like i was in this this kind of trance i had created for myself and a lot of us do this where it was
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like well i’m busy doing the things that matter yeah i’ll worry about my physical
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and mental well-being later you know when the other stuff when a
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the other stuff in my life is no longer happening and i just have time to do this
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because that’s gonna happen and b when uh my physical and mental health actually matter
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yeah and so it’s it’s it’s funny because like i’ve been through that same mindset mindset
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where it’s like i could just push that stuff off till later and yeah it takes like five
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seconds of thinking about it going if you take care of that how much better would you be at literally everything
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else how much better no it’s fine later later not just how much better would
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that be but keep in mind anytime you say or think something you
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have what what you know some people call the lizard brain you have this deep subconscious which is basically really
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it’s like your gut intuition it’s fight or flight it’s where like where your feelings and how you respond to things
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come from before you’re even consciously processing it and if your lizard brain
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which is your like survival mechanism is constantly hearing this guy does not
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care about you that’s at some point that’s going to give
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at some point your your body which your your subconscious has a much closer and
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quicker connection to than your conscious does is gonna go actually no
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uh uh we matter you matter i matter you know whether you look at yourself as one or many things or however you want to
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look at it we that your body and your life matter and uh you’re gonna start uh treating it that way uh i don’t believe
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that i got ms uh because of the stress and everything else to happen in my life
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i can’t imagine that it didn’t help to trigger it i mean there ms is a is a autoimmune and metabolic
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disease uh that is caught triggered by getting um by getting um
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epstein-barr virus but the vast majority of people who get ebv don’t get ms or
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anything else but once you’ve gotten ebv and then something or some other things
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happen it can trigger autoimmune illness i think my one of my other things could have been the severe stress and anxiety
29:15
i was constantly in it certainly couldn’t have helped right so but that wasn’t when i realized that i
29:21
had to change things that was just when i realized actually that wasn’t when i realized what i needed to change i knew
29:27
something needed to change but i didn’t realize what it was what changed that was when my doctor sat me down and we
29:33
talked about treatment options once i actually got the official diagnosis about a year and a half later
29:39
and when they did that they said you know the purpose of your ms treatment
29:44
was to is to slow down the progression of your ms so much that really it doesn’t it’s no different
29:52
than just the usual aging process and i went hm that sounds good wait a second
30:00
we are all going through a slow
30:05
almost imperceptibly slow level of entropy and degrade degradation
30:12
to the point where eventually we’re not here we all know in the abstract we’re not going to be
30:17
here right like everyone knows that we all know and you know we’ll jokingly be like i want to live forever but really
30:23
that’s our our minds going i want to live for like this is scary right but the thing is it’s actually you need to
30:29
and this always starts as a potentially much more depressing conversation but it’s one that has to be had like we have
30:34
to have this conversation long before you die you know unless god forbid you know something happens to you that’s like a
30:42
freak accident or some like illness that’s for the vast majority of people long before you reach that point where
30:48
you’re not breathing anymore and you’re not here anymore you get older
30:55
and you get yeah oh yeah no i’m paying you back for like 20 years is half your life [ __ ] like eventually you’re 40
31:01
like how much older you get yes eventually you turn 40 and then shortly after that you die no uh you you you get
31:08
you know you get older and the things that you’re putting off right now might
31:13
very well be things you don’t even want to do you know if you’re putting off some vacation or if you’re putting off
31:18
some big goal in your life until after you’re done with the thing which could be what working like what like you’re
31:25
going to be 70s do you think you’re still going to want to even do that so the what i what i took away from the
31:32
realization that like we all are suffering from what is essentially a 100
31:38
fatal and incurable progressive illness which is aging
31:44
that made me realize like you’re focused on the wrong thing you’re worried about this ms because it’s this clear and
31:50
present threat but there always was one there you have a finite amount of of life and it your life cannot be defined
31:57
by i am here to create revenue so that i can tell people that i am the
32:03
person that creates revenue and when they say why you can stare at them blankly and then say because i create
32:10
the revenue you’re not a an npc money maker like you
32:15
have to have purpose right yeah and you need to know what it is and you need to examine that and so that took me on a
32:22
really really challenging year uh pretty much through all of 2017 of you know
32:28
retiring from my company i had thankfully reached a point where i didn’t have to work uh to be able to to
32:33
you know pay for my my my living so it wasn’t all for not i mean it was it was good that i had had
32:38
financial success but i i’ve now i i took a year off not just to re
32:44
learn how to eat healthy and live healthy but also to try to figure out like who i was and that’s a weird thing
32:51
to do at the age of 35 yeah at that time like just like a
32:56
recalibration of your life and just like center yourself and everything you’re doing yeah your life who you are and now the word
33:04
the thing is amazing wife right amazing you know
33:09
incredible loved ones uh great circle of of friends and and family like i had all
33:15
sorts of blessings there and all sorts of great things it wasn’t like i’m just gonna discard my life it
33:20
was me yeah like everything it was interesting almost everything else was essentially
33:26
perfect or at least you know very very great it was me i didn’t know why like
33:31
why am i doing this i i resonate so much with that because it’s like you’ve met kelsey kelsey is yes a star in every way
33:38
shaper you have an incredible family your family is so beautiful yeah my girls are are amazing little girls
33:44
they’re so well behaved and they take care of themselves and um you know i’ve i’ve got a good family um outside of
33:52
just the immediate family i’ve had held good jobs i’ve got an amazing network of friends and um
33:58
i’ve got people that love and care for me and and i could call them at any time and some of them will crack jokes at me
34:04
and not not laughing my dad jokes um i’m not gonna i’m not gonna say who but listen all
34:10
some of your friends are gonna be the problem yeah and some of them definitely don’t laugh at my dad jokes
34:16
but um but you go through that and it’s just like you look from the outside and you see me and you’re like man he must
34:22
have a great life and it’s just like yeah you know you were talking about like that crippling depression and anxiety i was sitting here
34:29
two weeks ago and i was like you know is there really a point is there really
34:34
a reason and people look at me like how you’re you’re insane saying that yeah yeah yep
34:39
yep it’s like yep you’re not seeing it from the inside out you’re seeing it from the outside in you don’t see the
34:46
battles that we face every day in and day out do we choose to have these battles or do we choose to ignore them and just push
34:52
those off to later how you know the grappling there is is it’s terrible i hate this war zone it
34:59
it is it’s it’s a terrible it’s a war zone that is invisible and internal and it’s also a war zone that almost all of
35:07
us are fighting to some degree or another a lot of us either have gotten into a good place and have have settled
35:14
with that but it’s always present right like i’m not some uh um uh enlightened
35:19
uh you know nirvana reached being who you know floats above my own head and
35:24
and and bestows down just tidbits of my peace to others like it’s it’s we’re all still going through it
35:30
never it never really stops but it’s at least good to calibrate and know what that what that challenge is so it’s not a
35:37
battle now it’s just a it’s an ongoing challenge it’s part of your life but you know and a lot of other people they
35:43
function right like they’re not it hasn’t reached a level of disorder it hasn’t reached a level of manifesting
35:49
itself as compulsion or obsession or or you know severe depression or anything
35:55
like that but we’re all dealing with being these beings who
36:01
are in this world who are that we’re trying to figure out what the purpose of all of it is and we
36:06
have a finite amount of time and our body is in a constant state of change all the way from the very moment we have
36:13
our first conscious thought that we remember all the way to the very end you know that’s a challenging experience man
36:19
and i i don’t think we give ourselves enough uh i think because for the you know 99
36:24
99.999 whatever percent of human history it was you do stuff to survive
36:31
and it’s only in the recent time that we all get to be these like mini philosophers that actually have time to
36:37
sit there and go i wonder what it’s all about like that’s not historically like 100 even 100 years ago like human beings
36:44
have been around 6 000 years no human beings have been around for like
36:49
probably like 150 to 250 000 years right uh and even before that we were
36:56
we descend from uh you know other uh you know the the previous uh um uh great
37:02
greatest apes if you want to call it that and so we have this long history of having quite a bit of developed
37:08
consciousness comparable to other animals right and and even just the human part has been
37:15
all of that all of that time not just the the you know five six eight
37:20
what is it eight thousand years of time of actual like recorded history yeah like two hundred thousand years before
37:27
that of you you awake at some or you you were birthed at some point if you survive and
37:33
you spend the next 20 to 40 years desperately trying to stay alive and then going into you know recorded
37:39
history and all that it’s only in this very very recent amount of time that that the average person
37:47
has hours a day to sit there and go
37:52
i wonder why this is and so and that’s good right like that’s that’s human progress that we’ve been
37:58
able to reach a point where you know podcasts we can make podcasts this is this is
38:04
the peak this is the our moment this is when it all begins to unravel this is this is like wait why are we
38:11
surviving all right we’re done everyone sorry everyone everyone gets a podcast
38:17
everyone gets by no it’s uh it’s but no but i mean so it’s a good thing but it is a challenge we are now grappling as a
38:24
species that did not typically like we had a handful of philosophers whose job it was
38:30
and that’s even that’s only in the last 99 point or the the last point zero two
38:36
percent of our of our uh you know our history as a species that we even had a handful of people that would sit there
38:42
go i wonder what this is all about like it really and then now to come into this
38:47
you know to hyper realize into this moment where it’s like almost all of us can sit there and be like hmm i mean
38:52
even in other countries that we consider poverty streaking they still actually have some leisure time like it’s just
38:58
we’re reaching a point where where almost no one is having to spend every waking moment trying not to die uh you
39:04
know trying to to not die of like uh you know something completely preventable like hunger or something like that or
39:09
like a simple preventable disease now it’s like you know so so that’s good but
39:15
it means that we’re all now out here without a lot of historical perspective to lean on
39:21
to try to figure out what the hell this is all about and it’s a challenging time and and we need to be kinder to each other about that but you know
39:28
the beauty and we can talk about this the beauty of this is we do have some
39:35
guide stones that each one of us can use that help us a to figure out
39:41
who we are and what we’re about and be to
39:47
for lack of a better word gamify this experience that we can enjoy it whatever our purpose is whatever our lot in life
39:53
is yeah you um and and on those notes you know um you held a room in clubhouse so if you
39:59
guys are not in a clubhouse how clubhouse works is it’s just a chat room that you get a everyone is talking it’s
40:05
using your voices so it’s a different it’s so much different than facebook and twitter and and all those platforms
40:11
where you have to read somebody’s text and you can’t tell the tone of voice but you’re actually using your voice to
40:16
communicate with one another it’s like just basically like uh the old land lines where you like party call each
40:21
person three ways the next person we’ve gone back to party lines yes yes um hopefully it’s not like back when when
40:28
spike was a kid and it was like one line feeding into an entire neighborhood where if your neighbor was anyways wow
40:33
um i love you spike um a scant two-thirds of my life ago
40:41
but uh but you know so spike was on there and they
40:46
can have formatted rooms and so spike was talking about he got invited on to talk about what’s
40:51
ailing you and so he was talking about his experiences and and so me being incredibly nervous i got to
40:59
ask spike a question so it was my first time interacting with spike ever um don’t fact check this it’s a big moment
41:04
for you it was a huge moment um yeah thankfully you couldn’t see me shaking in my boots but um
41:11
hi spike uh i i’m just a person like you but but
41:17
i i was asking you because you know as somebody who suffers from ptsd somebody who suffers with with
41:23
basically chronic depression um and crippling anxiety um you know what is it
41:29
that we can do for ourselves or what is it that we can do for others to help them through those times and and
41:34
you took a couple a couple people asked this very similar questions but you took the time
41:40
to break some of these things down that you had gone through to help people and i think that this is something that um
41:46
we have to we have to be better you know as you said we got to love each other a little more we got to feel for one another a little more and
41:52
we have to be there for one another a little more um i know that my wife is is on the board for a qpr
42:00
um board where they go around and they teach people about qpr which is basically like cpr but for mental health
42:07
where you can like see the symptoms and you can you can see somebody who may be a depressed or somebody who may be
42:12
having like an anxiety moment or having a ptsd episode and you can you can help
42:18
them through those things but you gave something that i started already implementing in my own
42:23
life but i wanted to know kind of what is it that when you’re in your darkest days what are some of the things that
42:30
you do in order to help yourself so the two things
42:36
that i i mean there are many different things that i’ve i’ve learned to do along the
42:42
way but i will say the two things that were in and of themselves the most powerful
42:47
because depending how far along you know we’re talking about how to build your why of
42:53
of of why you are who you are and who you want to be not who you’ve thought you’ve been supposed to be but who you
42:59
actually want to be as opposed to who you want to present like who who is it you are who do you wish to be what is
43:06
you know what is it you know what do you want to be about what is your why why are you here right and what do you want
43:12
to be about why you’re here but sometimes some people are so deep into the basically the existential crisis you
43:20
know we talk about quarter life crisis mid-life prices you can have the exciting variant that jason and i have
43:25
which is a perpetual life crisis to every what day is today it’s tuesday it’s a tuesday life crisis like you know
43:31
it you can have you can have that it’s not tuesday it’s friday that’s a crisis
43:37
it’s a friday night but uh but so um you know and if you’re
43:43
that like acutely in a state of of like crisis and and and fear and and sadness
43:51
you might not be ready to do the why yet like that that might you’re not in you got to be in a decent head space to do that and if you
43:57
try to push through it i got to find out why i’m about and why i’m doing all this uh it’s gonna it can actually backfire
44:04
and your your it can very quickly become almost this feeling of nihilism like i don’t even care and it’s just because
44:10
you’re not in the right space right so yeah the things that i learned going it goes back to that thing that i
44:15
was talking about before when you pointed it out of we’ll just push off the mental health and the physical health stuff
44:21
yes i can’t worry about my mental well-being i got to figure out what this is all about well you’re you’re not
44:26
going to be able to do that unless your head’s in in the right space right like you know you you have to do that so some
44:33
things uh i actually i think there were three things that that were probably the most important things and this all came
44:38
from my learning about mindfulness meditation stoicism you know it was
44:44
really just me it started with stress reduction it was i was told by a doctor best thing you can do with this whole ms
44:50
thing is uh is reduce stress because if you stress out your ms is going to get worse and it’s like oh that’s good
44:55
that’ll help with my stress that’s not good it’s so vicious no i’m not stressed just knowing that
45:01
thanks so anyway so i just the existence of that fact isn’t in and of itself
45:07
making my stress go up as you talk to me but so i i but that really so it started
45:12
with like how to reduce stress and really it took me on a journey of like how to reduce stress in general and
45:19
really the best way to reduce stress is to change the way that we are thinking and processing things and so you can
45:25
look up like if you want to find out more about this things like active gratitude cognitive behavioral
45:31
therapy uh mindfulness uh stoicism also if you’re in a position to be able to do so
45:38
you should seek a therapist like i i strongly strongly recommend that like this is not a journey that you have to
45:45
go on alone and it helps to have someone who knows what they’re doing in this field
45:50
and isn’t closely tied to you where they have a vested interest one way or another and and are even subconsciously
45:57
inputting their own thoughts on what they want because they love you and they’re a part of your life that’s very helpful but these are the three things
46:04
so number one uh is uh active gratitude
46:10
and active gratitude is basically the idea of realizing that whether you are
46:16
the wealthiest most powerful happiest person on earth which by the way those likely
46:22
aren’t all the same things but uh just whatever you consider in your in your time every single day
46:28
of uh of um you know of of whatever your your pursuit is that you may or may not
46:34
even know what it is you’re actually pursuing you’ve got your mind’s eye of like this is the peak and i’m not gonna
46:40
stop until i reach that go ahead and think of reaching that peak right now okay whatever that is
46:46
probably there’s likely no one that’s actually there but anyone who’s reached whatever that the top is so far
46:53
all the way down to someone who is struggling just to survive today poverty med a terminal illness whatever
47:00
it is and everything in between every single person is
47:05
struggling to some degree usually in here and what that means is that we can
47:12
choose to look at life as this like really challenging thing and you got to work through it which you’re you’re
47:18
you’re eventually going to break if you do that everyone has their breaking point or you can look at it as this
47:25
interesting adventure that we are on that along the way there are some really great things that we can be grateful for
47:32
however well or poorly things are going uh in the abstract we can look and and be grateful for all sorts of things
47:40
along the way okay and one of the best ways again go google active gratitude and and i mean there’s
47:46
all sorts of stuff about it you can spend hours on youtube about it uh just before you even have to buy a book um
47:53
but the one thing with active gratitude that i learned was every day every evening
48:00
or really i i tend to do at the end of the night but you could do it part way through the day end of the night’s good because it’s like the last thing you do
48:06
before going to bed is that is that just just to go to circle back at the
48:12
end of the night is that the beginning of the day or is that at the beginning of the day
48:17
okay okay all right there we go okay whatever here’s what it is because i mean this you know this is very uh nine to five
48:23
normative what i’m saying uh so when you’re going to bed whenever that is so you know as the sun is rising whenever
48:30
whenever you go to bed right before you go to bed write down or or put in your phone
48:36
however whatever the best way to do this but but record it on your phone write it down on in a journal what
48:42
however you want to do it but it needs to be recorded okay you need to actually be doing it not just thinking
48:48
write down at least three things that happened that day that you were grateful for
48:53
okay and they can’t ju they can’t be something that’s that’s not at least somewhat unique to that day like it
48:59
can’t be like you know i have a you know a family that loves me and uh you know i’m in i’m in decent health i survive
49:06
yeah i have a roof over my head i survived today like that’s those are i mean it’s good you know go ahead and be grateful for
49:12
those things or you could even have a separate list of your ongoing grateful things but specifically something
49:18
specific to that day and it could be something as big as i got a big promotion or i i landed this big
49:23
contract or i was on tim cast irl or you know whatever like some you know where i
49:29
was on you know mr america the bearded truth finally finally second time
49:36
second time finally for the second time we had a lot more spikes in between it’s
49:41
fine that elite that elite club of people that have been on this show twice or more uh you know what whatever
49:47
whatever great thing it was that day i’ll put it down i will this will be one of the things i put down today is this great experience i’ve had here like this
49:53
will be seriously this is one of the things right um it could be something as big as that or it could be something as
49:59
small as like uh i uh walked by uh like a landscapes uh of uh by in
50:06
front of a business and it was just really beautiful and it just you know for a moment it was just a really beautiful thing or you know i saw this
50:13
this really great sunset or i i walked by a restaurant or drove by a restaurant and the food just couldn’t have smelled
50:19
better or whatever it could be something as simple as that or something just said someone just said something to me and it
50:24
was a really uh it just really made me feel better about myself or about things or i had a really great conversation
50:31
with someone uh that i haven’t talked to a lot like whatever it is big small doesn’t matter at least three things now
50:37
there are going to be some days you will just be able to sit there and you can’t even remember all the great stuff that happened to you try to make mental notes
50:43
throughout the day but uh but you could just sit there and you know have 15 20 things 30 things and then
50:51
there will be other days where you will be sitting there tearing up or crying trying to figure out just three things
50:57
that happened that day that those are the most important days to do it okay if you aren’t doing that that day that you
51:04
those that’s the most important day to do it because you need to remember you need to be training that subconscious
51:11
that even on your worst days there were at least three things that there was even just a silver lining for or that it
51:17
was just a small little thing to be grateful for and what that does when you
51:22
start doing that you’re training yourself
51:28
to actively scan because you’ve made this new ritual this new little fun ritual you do at the end of the day give
51:34
yourself five minutes to do it 10 minutes it’s not like a long thing but on that note yourself
51:39
on that note real quick so i saw in the in the comment section somebody had said you know this sounds like a great thing
51:45
i know that my adhd won’t let me do this so if you are somebody who needs this if
51:51
this is something that will help you to to be able to to have this act of gratitude in your own life to implement
51:57
this take the time right now pause this video even if you have to go into your
52:02
your your alarm clock figure out about what time you go to bed each night and just set an alarm for it
52:08
seven days a week set that alarm and then when that alarm goes off go it’s my time to think about my gratitude set
52:14
that in your alarm right now and just set that into your into your future go ahead and set it into it also
52:22
because this is supposed to be a a something that you are uh cherishing and
52:27
looking forward to okay if you have either adhd or some other issue that makes it hard for you to
52:33
fulfill an ongoing regular thing don’t beat yourself up on the days that you forget or aren’t able to do it this
52:40
is a this is a a moment you are giving yourself to have an opportunity to do this okay and that’s how you need to
52:45
look at it like don’t this is not oh my gosh i have failed as a person today because i didn’t do the thing right and
52:51
it you know i will tell you like i’ve reached a point where i rarely even do the writing down anymore because i’m
52:56
just actively scanning throughout the day i also have been writing it down for five years now so
53:04
don’t just say the one thing i would say is don’t just say well i’ll now actively look for things to be grateful for
53:09
you’re not wired for it yet okay you have to do this initially to do it but do it as often as you can it’d be great
53:15
to do it every day if you miss some days don’t beat yourself up just do it the next day it’s fine but so you look for
53:20
those three things and what the number the first thing that happens is your brain starts actively scanning
53:26
throughout the day for things to be grateful for which means even in things so every time
53:31
anything happens your brain’s like is that something i can be grateful for so instead of the default that many of us have which is oh crap what’s this about
53:39
now there’s a part of us that’s looking at a thing and going anything i’d be grateful for here oh no
53:46
that’s that’s good and i find now like what yesterday i could have the old
53:52
spike yesterday i had to uh fly uh i told you this would be meandering uh i
53:57
had to fly i was in dc went to do the thing at tim cass
54:03
sleep back here less than 24 hours okay and i had four flights i had to do in between then flight of atlanta then to
54:09
dc then dc to atlanta then atlanta and myrtle beach back home and and now i could have been like oh my gosh oh
54:16
man this time and it’s kind of out of nowhere and i you know i had all these things i had to work on and i told people i’d make this abortion video earlier this week now
54:22
it’s gonna push you back this weekend man uh i’m so uh uh yeah i’m frazzled for time and and i just barely got to
54:27
the airport oh man i hope i make my connecting plate oh man it’s gonna be challenging and so there’s not much time in the connection it’s like wow okay are
54:33
we gonna get to the hotel time because i have to be able to put my clothes on oh and get to tim castleman tim cast
54:38
such a big show hundreds of thousands of people man am i gonna be able to do this and get on the show oh thank god that’s over oh man i need to get some rest or
54:44
else i’m not gonna be able to do anything tomorrow but i gotta get to the airport yeah i could have done that [ __ ] okay that’s what i would have done in
54:50
the past that would have been spike i still would have done well through it but i would have made myself suffer the
54:55
entire time instead my last 24 hours was awesome and it
55:00
would have been awesome even if i hadn’t gone there because now that whole experience was wow
55:07
i’m getting to fly to dc again in less than a week and both times someone else paid for it
55:14
because they just respect my opinion that much and wow this guy that picked me up uh this guy brian the guy that
55:20
they have pick up their guests and and take them back to the to the take them to there and back to the airport man
55:26
he’s a good guy and what a great conversation we’re having and wow this is beautiful this this place we’re driving through to get to where the tim
55:32
cass studios are what a beautiful place man this hotel is really nice and clean and this bed’s super comfortable and man
55:40
what an opportunity to be on this show wow what a great conversation that was wow look at all these really nice
55:45
comments there are some comments that aren’t very nice but you know they’re on a journey too and wow man now i get to
55:50
just take it easy going back home i’ll got that out of the way did the best i could wow i get to hang out with jason
55:56
tonight i have had an incredible two-day experience that i could have completely
56:01
stressed out myself because now i’ve got my brain to actively scan for thankful
56:06
things that i’m grateful for everything almost everything even looking back at like my ms my incurable
56:14
neurodegenerative disorder that they don’t even fully understand what you know causes it
56:19
and there’s no cure for it yet i have found gratitude in that and it started
56:25
with writing down those three things at least three things each day the other thing that it does is now your
56:32
brain actively and not just consciously but subconsciously looks to create things for you to be grateful for
56:38
because it turns out you can often make gratifying experiences
56:44
healthful healthy and gratifying experiences so for example you might always be thinking man there’s
56:51
this loved one that i need to call them i haven’t talked to them in so long it’s only going to be a few minutes just to
56:56
say i love you maybe even just leave them a voice message or a text message or you know whatsapp of an audio message
57:03
to them or whatever uh and uh you know but i’m just so busy doing my life right
57:09
and think of all the times that you and i’m just giving this as one example i mean there are many examples of what you
57:15
will start actively doing just creating small moments that you can celebrate and be grateful for yeah but
57:21
you think of all the times that you go to someone’s funeral and you go oh they were a great person oh man i should have
57:28
you know i i should have um i should have spent more time with them i should have you know i should have talked with
57:33
them more often here’s something should have celebrated with them while they were there should have should have celebrated with them while they were
57:39
there you know the whole tell me don’t tell me at my funeral tell me now well that’s real because guess what
57:45
this is some some tough fur it was tough for me to swallow one day you’re going to be that person
57:51
and not only are a bunch of people gonna regret the stuff they didn’t get to say to you
57:56
which think about how much you could use that right now right all your loved ones telling you what they think on a regular
58:01
basis so be one of those people but as you’re approaching that moment unless it’s you know some freak accident or
58:06
whatever as you’re approaching that moment you too are going to be regretting what you had wanted to say or do with them so go ahead and let this be
58:14
the thing that pushes you over that it’ll give you one more thing you know if you’re towards the end of the day and you’re like man i can only think of two
58:20
things i’m grateful for give a quick call to someone that you love and just talk to them now you got your third thing
58:25
in doing this you now both consciously and subconsciously
58:31
start creating moments that you are going to be grateful for it is very often the thing that makes me get off my
58:37
butt when i don’t want to do today’s hour of exercise that i make myself do every day for me going listen if nothing
58:43
else you’ll be able to say you know i’m grateful for you know that i that i persevered to this moment of not wanting
58:50
to do this thing and i actually ended up really enjoying my walk or my time at the beach or my whatever i did for
58:56
exercise that day and it happens naturally because as part of this new ritual your body is actively
59:02
looking for things to celebrate and you it also allows you to create celebrations that’s the first thing and
59:08
i’ll also talk about that a little before we go in a second yeah on that note you know something that i picked up uh just
59:14
randomly i don’t i don’t know where this came from i don’t know if i heard it on a podcast if you were talking about this
59:20
if somebody else who’s like just uh influential and and inspiring but i just
59:26
started i’ll just start texting people one day just if i’m ever having like a moment where
59:32
i’m just sitting down and relaxing i’m like you know it it’s it’s so refreshing and so exciting to get that message from
59:39
somebody and be like yeah you know thanks for what you’re doing so i just start i’ll send that you know i i just recently sent one to brian um brian
59:46
lambrick and i i sent him a message i was like you’re amazing you’re you’re you’re a god in my eyes you’re doing amazing
59:53
things i love you i appreciate you keep doing what you’re doing and that was it just send it and then just walk on with
59:59
your day you’re not doing it for the gratitude back you’re not doing it for like anything but you’re just
1:00:05
just let them know and so i i’ve sent that and i’ll open up my phone and i’ll see that i sent a message and i don’t get a
1:00:11
response i don’t know if they read it or not i don’t i don’t care but i’m telling people
1:00:16
in those moments you know that i appreciate them that i value them and hopefully
1:00:22
hopefully i catch them on one of those dark days where they’re feeling so down exactly yeah if i catch them on a high
1:00:27
day then it’s just another praise that they’re getting amongst a thousand which is fine i don’t mind being amongst the crowd but i i love it when when
1:00:34
you accidentally hit them in the echo they’re in the echoes when they’re in the dark cells and they’re they’re
1:00:40
battling it and they’re sitting on on in a metaphorical cliff and about to
1:00:45
jump and you go hey i love you and that’s all it took and they’re like i can’t leave jason
1:00:51
yeah and and that’s and that’s you could get them at the ledge or you could get them where the vast majority of us are
1:00:58
at any moment which is like i’m just judging through this we’ll have to figure it out and then getting
1:01:03
something like that is just kind of helps to reset and it gives you a feeling of gratitude right like it gives you even whether you get a response back
1:01:10
or not it gives you that feeling of like i’m grateful that you know i’m that i have
1:01:15
these loved ones that mean so much to me and had an opportunity to be able to let them know what i thought about them like
1:01:21
that these are the things that you can be grateful for and when you start thinking of things in a gratitude first
1:01:28
way and this is what helps game that when you start thinking of things in a gratitude first way
1:01:35
everything almost everything becomes
1:01:41
a blessing in some degree right and obviously there are some things that aren’t i’m not even going to name them
1:01:46
but there are some things that you know either either there is no
1:01:51
blessing or thing to be grateful for from it or you’re just not in a mind space to do it
1:01:57
i only very very recently like this year have been able to start
1:02:02
saying you know what actually yeah my ms was a blessing and the reason why ms was a blessing was knowing me i would have
1:02:09
it would have taken some other thing later on in life when it would have been much harder to deal with to get me to
1:02:15
take my physical and mental well-being safely and how many more years of suffering would i have had to go through
1:02:21
until now i’m in my 40s my 50s my 60s and dealing with something that’s equally hard to deal with like a heart
1:02:28
problem or just severe mental illness or whatever and it’s that much harder for me to deal with now because i’m that
1:02:33
much further into it and i’m you know it’s a physical thing i’m that much older and all of that stuff how great that i went through this right you know
1:02:40
i i can tell you and this is me looking from the outside you know in in your moments you know you’re a child
1:02:46
basically
1:02:53
you’re a child a literal like a toddler basically like a toddler with facial
1:02:59
hair pretty much um but you’re so you know you’re you’re you’re only two-thirds of my age
1:03:06
but so i so but but here’s the thing man here’s a way you can and i’m not telling you you need to
1:03:12
look at it this way because i don’t because i never i don’t like telling people look at it this way well no you need to decide how you look at things
1:03:19
but here’s a way you could look at it you are dealing with a a
1:03:24
very challenging mental health challenge that many of us deal with the varying degrees yours is is more acute than many
1:03:30
others right but this allows you the opportunity in your you know early 30s
1:03:37
not even in your midlife you’re not even there yet you’re so young you are i want
1:03:42
that give me 10 years back so you you you but no you it’s so early in your in
1:03:48
so much so much earlier in your life this is giving you an opportunity to do the things to address that now that are
1:03:55
going to allow you for the next 50 60 70 years to live such a happy and
1:04:00
fulfilling life unlike a lot of other people who are more baseline and okay
1:04:05
during during your time during this age and it starts to catch with up with them later and if nothing else they just have
1:04:12
that much less time that they get to live realized and and happy and fulfilled so even like you can start
1:04:19
looking at these things if you if you’re in a space to be able to do that as something to be grateful for and it’s
1:04:25
it’s incredible to be in moments where you are like
1:04:31
so sad and so depressed and so anxious and there’s a small part of you going
1:04:37
man i’m i’m glad i’m going through this now so that i can not have to deal with this in the future
1:04:44
and not as this like challenge you’re creating for yourself but just being in that moment and being like wow what you
1:04:50
know i mean it’s good to deal with it now and it’s good to have this opportunity to learn this stuff now like
1:04:55
and and it’s incredible how quickly you can start turning stuff around to even have that small voice in there that’s
1:05:00
like wow what a blessing that i’m dealing with this now like it’s just it’s it is incredible i i’ve been on flights where
1:05:07
the the turbulence was um was like horrifically bad and i would sit there and think
1:05:14
something like wow how cool will it be
1:05:19
to survive this and to be able to like brag to people about like yeah i was on
1:05:25
this flight it was super bumpy and like everyone was freaking out and i wasn’t like who thinks that right but like
1:05:30
that’s where i am now yeah and i’m not perfect or totally self-realized or anything like that i’m just further
1:05:36
along in this in this like wellness journey you can by being grateful by learning to be grateful you can find
1:05:43
that you will just it it’s like everything becomes like a gratitude first type of thing so that’s the first
1:05:49
thing uh before before we go to the second thing because we we gotta keep pushing it off not to get into
1:05:54
paragraphs no not to get into paragraphs um but this is also something that you know
1:06:00
when we talk about this there’s people that are gonna hear this that this resonates with them and this is like the
1:06:05
thing that they’re like these are the things i have to implement and and the sad and the scary part of this is that
1:06:12
just merely hearing these things i hope that if this is something that does resonate for people that they save this
1:06:18
they save this somewhere that they can reach it at some point because oft more often than not this is not going to be
1:06:24
the thing that inspires you to start implementing these things today um usually it takes something catastrophic
1:06:31
happening in your life for you to go now i have to um i would of course
1:06:37
encourage everybody to take these things if these things are resonated with you find a way to implement them now because
1:06:43
of you know when we create movements when we create a facebook account a twitter account when you when you get
1:06:49
into business everything is it’s so slow to start but as soon as you
1:06:54
start it does snowball and it starts carrying itself which is why you know you’ll be sitting on a plane and you’re
1:07:00
like look at that we’re gonna survive yes
1:07:06
you might be a loony 40 year old sitting on a plane just giggling as as turbulence is throwing you around like a
1:07:11
rag doll but that’s your peak moment that’s the new buddha right like buddha was sitting there fat and happy i was
1:07:17
i’m the i’m the new buddha i’m on the bumpy plane like this is fun this is great
1:07:23
so anyways this is part two now yeah so okay so that’s sort of the like
1:07:29
how you structure yourself for being grad oh and another for all of
1:07:34
this do not try to you know you know whenever you try to take on a
1:07:41
challenge you’re like waiting for the thing to happen right don’t do that just be in the moment
1:07:46
this is my time of of doing the active gratitude thing you’ll notice it as it starts to happen but don’t try to like
1:07:51
force something i must be grateful what is this i’m grateful just kind of grateful like just like leave let it
1:07:57
happen don’t this is not a fight this is not even a challenge
1:08:04
this is just a fun new thing that you do for a few minutes each day okay it’s gonna happen let it happen
1:08:10
you know it’s don’t don’t make yourself miserable as you’re it’s gonna happen regardless whether you’re sitting or making yourself be grateful for stuff or
1:08:17
whether you’re just you know gratitude just just sit there this is still number one but but it’s
1:08:23
and it’s not just this it’s all these things like any of these things you’re doing don’t sit there and like make
1:08:29
yourself and i have to and i’m still feeling the bad things like no it’s it’s like that’s not how this works you’re
1:08:36
never gonna stop being sad like i get sad i get like it it is and it’s not don’t make this into a thing
1:08:42
that you like dread doing you know like i have to eat this spinach or whatever
1:08:48
like like it’s this is a thing you are adding to that helps you feel better as you’re doing it
1:08:54
these other great things are going to happen over time and whether you’re forcing yourself to do it or whether you just let it happen
1:09:01
it’s going to happen so just let it happen and just enjoy enjoy the experience of the thing enjoy the the
1:09:06
journey as well as the destination so number two the second thing is um
1:09:14
that’s a great way to get started but there are are two things that can happen along the way that will uh that will
1:09:21
sometimes veer you off and so one of those things and i’m not sure if we talked about this on the clubhouse but
1:09:27
one of those things is there’s going to be negative things that happen or things
1:09:33
that maybe in and of themselves aren’t negative but they cause you to have a negative reaction like an emotional
1:09:38
angry negative reaction and so when those things happen the way we typically deal with that
1:09:44
is very emotionally and we just have the emotional reaction and then our whatever
1:09:50
i guess for lack of a better word intellectual reaction we have a verbal reaction or psychological reaction we
1:09:55
have is really just a manifestation of that emotional reaction we had which usually we never address or check
1:10:02
internally or or try to even figure out what just happened there so there have probably been times in your life where
1:10:09
like something happens and you are either extremely sad about it or extremely raging and somewhere in the
1:10:16
back of your head you’re like why am i doing this like why is this happening but you’re so far along you just keep
1:10:22
doing it because it’s what you feel right here’s how you can try to do that
1:10:29
uh and this actually comes from ideas from stoicism so that’s another thing to google if you want to look into into
1:10:35
stoicism um when something happens and you know and
1:10:41
it could be someone saying something to you could be anything when something happens and you start noticing that
1:10:46
you’re having a very intense reaction to it
1:10:52
positive or negative especially negative but really anything that’s like this really immediate and intense emotional
1:10:58
reaction try and this will be a very tough one
1:11:03
i mean i still don’t always do this okay like this is a this is this will you
1:11:08
will this is like baseball if you’re bat in 300 or 400 you’re doing fantastic
1:11:14
like this is not one of those you’re going to nail it all the time stuff so don’t beat yourself up in those moments
1:11:20
try to not have the as you’re having the reaction give
1:11:27
yourself a moment before you truly manifest this reaction to and this is where like the counting
1:11:32
to 10 thing comes in give yourself a second start counting yeah like a wu saw like count to 10 or
1:11:39
20 or 800 or whatever you need but while you’re doing that
1:11:44
think for a second why am i reacting emotionally like and it’s not why am i upset about
1:11:50
that like why what’s bad about this thing because um it could be very basic it could be very
1:11:57
simple it could be like well i you know because that person’s a jerk and they just said something absolutely terrible
1:12:02
and untrue and it’s not right okay so it’s not your reaction isn’t justified but it’s
1:12:08
why am i reacting this way wow as not why did this have not not why
1:12:14
is this an upsetting thing but why am i choosing to react this way and so what’s really really good about
1:12:21
this and and so when you do that there doesn’t even necessarily have to
1:12:27
be an answer try to think about it a little bit and this is where another thing is cognitive behavioral therapy so
1:12:33
you can there are actually steps you can take on like well okay what is this reaction what is this thing that
1:12:38
happened how does it make me feel uh what are my concerns about it uh and
1:12:43
then what’s my evidence for whatever this made me feel and is there any evidence against what this made me
1:12:49
feel or be concerned about like there’s this whole thing you can do um but at the very least just take a
1:12:55
moment and think why am i reacting to this is this reaction warranted do i need to
1:13:02
react the way i’m reacting or is there maybe a better way to react and literally just taking that brief moment
1:13:08
to not immediately react back this is very useful on the internet by the way where you can literally put your phone
1:13:14
down because this is not the real this is not the real world you can actually put it down
1:13:20
and not exist there for a second and i’m pretty sure there’s an app that has grass on here and you could just touch
1:13:25
the grass on your phone and just touch the grass yeah on my own phone yes exactly um and so you can but
1:13:34
in those moments just like just giving yourself that time you very often can find that you were like
1:13:40
you know what i don’t even need to get what you’ll very often find is i don’t even need to give that my time like that was just something stupid that’s some
1:13:46
journey someone else is on god knows what they’re going through and so i’m not even going to deal with that i’m not even going to respond to it and and or
1:13:53
it can be you know what that wasn’t right or that was a bad
1:13:58
thing and especially if you’re now in a gratitude mindset you can be like you know what i i get that i
1:14:04
this is how i should respond or you know what actually that was a good point or i actually needed to know that because
1:14:10
blah blah blah like or or you may just be like you know what that’s just not worth my energy i i’ve
1:14:16
i’ve already detached myself from it i’m not going to do it or you have the emotional reaction but you go you know
1:14:21
what i was justified in that or you know whatever whatever it is you’re not having this immediate primal
1:14:28
reaction you’re having a more measured reasoned and and articulated
1:14:33
response whatever it is because you’ve actually taken a moment to think about it um so that’s the second thing that you
1:14:39
can do um the thing that okay before you move on
1:14:44
somebody posted the comments and i was gonna ask you about this what do you think that the atf agents go
1:14:51
through when they read your comments on their posts do you do you think that they go this isn’t worth it or do you
1:14:57
think that they go damn it he’s right but if i click that like button if i click that carry
1:15:04
if the atf has heart reacted my response then that means we won um
1:15:10
i honestly i don’t you know i think it is very possible
1:15:16
that you’ve got someone in the government who literally just put stuff up
1:15:22
uh and then never looks at it again yeah they they post it up and they say turn this turn notifications off next
1:15:29
that’s that’s there we’ll come back and put out as required by by my job um and
1:15:36
uh and then i think what happens is i do think and this by the way guys notice
1:15:41
when i do this stuff don’t go up there and start talking about stacking bodies and stuff because
1:15:47
keep in mind uh you it is likely that uh they put these things up to
1:15:53
provoke reactions uh well at least in part to provoke reactions and look for people they can honeypot online for
1:16:00
their next fed operation so don’t be that guy all right like like you know uh
1:16:06
you know if suddenly there’s a really attractive woman going i too like to boogaloo why don’t you say here’s my
1:16:11
hotmail address like maybe maybe it turns out don’t do that so you know
1:16:17
don’t be the don’t don’t make yourself a mark on there okay like give your opinion but you’ll notice whenever i get
1:16:22
my opinion i don’t threaten stuff i don’t i barely even like use salty language like i’m i’m almost like soccer
1:16:29
and sweet it’s almost like if mr rogers was was you know roasting a government agency i was going to go with you know
1:16:35
just this old frail guy imagine like the guy from up the old grandfather guy like that’s you
1:16:41
just being all tender and sweet and and loving oh hi there i have a question why
1:16:46
do you think they’re doing this like you know like and and so so that’s that and i’ll say stuff like yeah we’re gonna abolish your agency and we’re gonna hold
1:16:53
you accountable but again that’s like this the spiciest i get i’m really just holding up a mirror to them and saying
1:16:59
this is you and here’s what should happen as a result of that but i don’t get it so anyway so i i i hope that there’s some
1:17:05
so i i there have to be first of all i hope that there’s just a ton of agents and whoever my current agent is i hope
1:17:12
you’re doing well hope the family is well uh repent um but uh i hope that you
1:17:18
know there’s just a constant churn from of of the agents they have assigned to me because they get assigned to me and
1:17:23
they go that guy’s right i can’t do this anymore and they like quit and i’m just like this constant source of like drain and
1:17:30
there’s a revolving glass store just like the drones shut down that are following me the birds that’s why i keep
1:17:36
seeing dead birds because the drones are just like ah i can’t do it like you know um because it just you
1:17:42
know my positivity and warmth it just pervades but so so that’s something you can do to deal with that now that’s the
1:17:48
external stuff yep the third thing is for the internal stuff
1:17:55
so the reality of life is that you’re always going to have moments of
1:18:02
sadness you’re always going to sneeze when your biggest guest ever is i muted
1:18:07
it they didn’t know that i sneezed that’s completely
1:18:15
things bad destructive terrible things are gonna happen no there are gonna be things that happen
1:18:21
in your life either externally or internally but this is the internal one okay and there are gonna be times where
1:18:27
either because of external stuff or just because of where you are in that moment that you’re very sad you are very um uh
1:18:36
uh very depressed you are very anxious if you’re dealing with some kind of an addiction issue you’re you’ve you know
1:18:43
either relapsed or you’re just really struggling with um you know with uh with wanting to relapse uh if you’re in a in
1:18:51
an abuse situation you’re you’re dealing with fear whatever it this is an internal feeling that you’re having okay
1:18:57
and it’s a really really bad one and if you’re on a journey to try to get better or even if you’re just you know in a bad
1:19:03
place our reaction typically to internal bad internal stuff happening that makes us
1:19:09
feel bad is to go man this sucks like there’s this like inner voice while
1:19:15
you’re going through that that’s like wow i feel bad i feel bad about feeling bad this is
1:19:22
terrible oh my god dad i’m feeling depressed again oh my gosh and it just
1:19:28
it’s caught it’s a downward spiral right like it’s it’s the worst and then and especially if you’re trying to get
1:19:34
better you’ll be like i’ve been trying to get better and i’ve done spike told me to write down the things and i still
1:19:39
feel like crap like you know and you’re and you’re all doing this and you’re like you know why can’t i get better why
1:19:44
am i feeling this way which one that helps right that’s like the stop being stressed out or your ms is going to get
1:19:51
worse like it just it doesn’t work right so instead
1:19:58
we we often try to stop thinking the thing we we stop trying to feel bad
1:20:04
that doesn’t work right and that’s why often people turn to drugs and and other addictions and other compulsions to try
1:20:10
to like stop the bad feeling don’t do that okay the bad feeling is happening and stop trying to and also stop trying
1:20:18
to stop the bad feelings about the bad feelings here is instead what i’m gonna have you do something positive and
1:20:23
affirmative okay i would like you to say to yourself if possible actually verbally say to yourself
1:20:31
it is okay that i am feeling this there is nothing there is nothing inherently bad about
1:20:38
feeling bad thoughts they just are and this is a moment i’m having where
1:20:43
i’m feeling a bad thought and that’s okay and i know even though it may not even feel like it right now that i am
1:20:50
going that you know that there will be times when i’m not feeling the bad thoughts and having this moment will allow me to be even more grateful for
1:20:56
the times that i’m feeling good thoughts and i’m feeling good knowing that i was able to do this but in the meantime here
1:21:02
i am and i have been here before i will likely be here again but i know i
1:21:07
will get through it and i am proud of myself for the fact that i am able to go through things like
1:21:13
this and still come out okay on the other end and be able to have better times i am and this you know and you can
1:21:19
make this into a shorter a shorter mantra for you no you gotta you gotta have a ten no literally word for word not to get into
1:21:26
paragraphs here so you know the the the short version of this is
1:21:32
it’s okay to have bad thoughts i’m having bad thoughts now i will have better thoughts in the future in the
1:21:39
meantime i am okay i am proud of myself for being able to get through these moments i am grateful and proud of all
1:21:48
of my of of all of my efforts and i am doing my best and i love myself
1:21:54
now when you say that now you have to say it okay yes
1:22:00
like if you’re in a if you’re in you know a position where you’re able to say it even if you’re just whispering it to yourself you have to say it
1:22:06
and the reason you have to say it is because your subconscious your lizard brain
1:22:12
when it hears something it takes it in even if it’s from you
1:22:19
especially if it’s from you yeah this is a really weird brain hack trick that a lot of people
1:22:24
use it is uncomfortable how easy it is to program yourself but it works
1:22:31
a lot of people walk around i still catch myself doing it sometimes this is very common for many people
1:22:38
especially alpha types where we are constantly beating ourselves up in our words and our thoughts
1:22:43
and our lizard brains are taking that in and going well man he doesn’t like me at all
1:22:49
and that manifests itself in how you feel so actively do the opposite even when
1:22:56
especially when you do not believe it so at least starting off
1:23:02
when you’re feeling these moments you’re sitting there going i love myself i’m proud of all my efforts i’m doing the best i can you know i have bad money you
1:23:08
are going to be like this isn’t true this is all bs say it anyway you can think that all day long and don’t try to
1:23:14
stop those thoughts don’t try to stop thoughts let thoughts go through that’s a whole other thing i actually have to
1:23:20
do a little side note here we often try to stop thoughts that’s like hey that elephant don’t
1:23:26
think of it everyone’s thinking of an elephant now like you there is no such thing as stopping thoughts
1:23:32
look at it instead as your thoughts are a stream of your consciousness
1:23:37
now when you’re looking at a waterfall or a stream or a flickering light or anything that is really appears to be a
1:23:43
a static scene but is really just a constantly moving thing which is really all things a body is is slightly slower
1:23:51
moving constantly moving we’re inside the side notes of side notes now i told you this feels meandering like
1:23:57
it’s there’s a lot going on here okay i’m trying to pack in many years of the stuff i’ve learned
1:24:03
along the way when you look at that stream you don’t go that water drop
1:24:09
okay that that water drop you just look at the stream and it’s
1:24:15
constantly moving and you’re not trying to retain any of it you’re just you’re just in that
1:24:21
your thoughts are just part of that stream you had a thought okay that thought happened i’m still thinking
1:24:26
about it okay that’s all right here’s what i’m going to talk about and think about right now i’m going to consciously think about this that thought’s still in
1:24:32
there okay that’s fine you know you’re going to have obsessions you’re going to have things that you can’t get out of your head it’s okay it’s there
1:24:38
right i acknowledge it it’s there i’m still thinking about it okay that’s fine and you will find that as
1:24:44
you do this those things become less pervasive because you’re not going i can’t think that thought that’s not how
1:24:50
it works right so instead what you focus on instead of saying i don’t want to think this
1:24:55
instead you focus on what you are going to choose to say that’s all you have control over okay and so you focus on
1:25:03
saying the positive things and the um the self-affirming things i
1:25:08
love myself i’m doing my best i am proud of all my efforts i am grateful for the opportunity to grow i am open to this
1:25:16
experience i am you know experiencing one that’s less pleasant than others but this allows me to experience more
1:25:22
pleasant moments and i truly appreciate them even more it’s not going to feel right do it anyway especially when it
1:25:29
doesn’t feel right keep doing it say it over and over say it until it goes away say it until you’re crying if you’re
1:25:36
having a panic attack you can say it during that keep saying it okay
1:25:41
it will eventually the more you say it the more that when those moments come
1:25:48
there’s a part of you that’s saying it and and you may or may not even hear it i’m at a point now where sometimes i
1:25:53
even kind of and i say hear it i i recognize that i’m yeah i’m yeah i’m thinking i’m hearing the monologue or
1:26:00
i’m thinking the monologue before i even start saying it because my brain is like time to do the grateful thing
1:26:05
and it’s incredible that’s so it is it is and it doesn’t make sadness go away it doesn’t make all bad
1:26:12
feelings go away there are times you’re just bummed out okay like there are just times you know just if you’re tired you
1:26:19
ate a bunch of crap that’s catching up with you you know you’re you’re whatever like it’s you know you’re you just had
1:26:24
you know had a rough day uh you’re you you had some big realizations that are
1:26:30
hitting you hard whatever it is you’re not feeling well you’re sick like you know when i get covered like i just kind
1:26:36
of stay to myself because i’m not it kind of puts you in a bad place like it’s like you know like and that’s okay
1:26:41
but you will do better with those experiences those will flatten out that the negative of it will flatten out a
1:26:47
little and because you’ve geared it towards this is the darkness that lets me
1:26:53
appreciate the light more when those light moments happen your brain’s like that’s the light moment
1:26:58
that’s the that’s what we were talking about before now we can wow how grateful i am for this experience right so it’s
1:27:04
it’s it is choosing to speak consciously positive things
1:27:11
knowing knowing that you’re actually programming you’re way too easy to program brain
1:27:18
into learning to do that stuff subconsciously which makes it even easier to do consciously so that’s those
1:27:23
are the three things and there’s that one okay before you get into that that third
1:27:28
one of sitting down and sitting in front of a mirror and yeah i’m doing my best that has been the
1:27:35
thing that i’ve taken away from that clubhouse room i took that and i’ve implemented it
1:27:40
and i mean since then i had i had a day if just being transparent and open i had
1:27:47
an episode the other uh last week last thursday and
1:27:52
i walked in front of the mirror and i said doing the best i’m i’m proud of myself i’m doing the
1:27:59
best yeah that was there were there were tears running down right yeah oh you’re invaded yeah
1:28:06
no you’ll be miserable doing it yeah yeah and and i still did it and i was like i’m a [ __ ] idiot you know that
1:28:12
there’s i’m an idiot i’m sitting here like just in this vicious cycle of what you’re
1:28:18
talking about everything that i’m doing isn’t isn’t good enough everything i’ve tried isn’t isn’t successful these
1:28:25
people hate me they’re just here because for whatever reason they they listen to a couple of my comments they’ll laugh
1:28:32
they’ll actually laugh at my dad jokes um but but that’s
1:28:37
that’s as far as they go but i was like i sat in front of the mirror and i said you know i’m doing the best i can and
1:28:43
that didn’t help me in the moment yeah
1:28:48
but i know adding that is helping just slowly shift that mindset
1:28:55
that i have of you know when i get to those good days those glory days i’m doing the best that
1:29:01
i can i’m doing nothing different when when those mindset mindset shifts
1:29:07
exactly there was nothing that i did to cause that it just you’re gonna have those days
1:29:12
there was it nobody like came and just knocked my legs out from underneath me there was no government around me to do
1:29:17
that it was just i fell down mentally and yep
1:29:22
i’m doing the best i can i’m doing incredible i’m doing the best i can i’m proud of myself and here are
1:29:29
two things i want you to add okay this dark moment allows me to appreciate
1:29:34
light moments which if you’re also doing the active gratitude stuff your subconscious will start saying really scary stuff like i’m
1:29:41
grateful for this dark moment that’s when you realize you’re actually starting to get somewhere don’t try to force that don’t say i’m happy that i’m
1:29:47
having a bad moment but like you’ll your brain will start being like oh hey this is one of those dark moments that really
1:29:53
it provides a relief to the to the better moments like it makes it even more important so but you will get there
1:29:59
naturally but ad i am i these moments allow me to experience the other moments
1:30:05
and here’s the tough one this is the one that will make you like like lie in bed in the fetal position crying but it’s absolutely necessary i love myself
1:30:14
yeah not skin crawling but i love myself when your
1:30:21
your subconscious hears i am proud of myself i am grateful for
1:30:27
everything i’m doing i am doing the best that i can and i love myself your
1:30:32
you start healing a lot of the trauma you have been creating to yourself without even realizing it by going wow
1:30:40
this guy really does like us and and not to give you pushback not to give you
1:30:45
pushback but uh you know i’m just trying to keep a professional between me and myself all right i’m not
1:30:50
not trying to [Laughter] you say that but i know what you do no it’s
1:30:57
you know that’s no but no but it really is important to have that and um like i
1:31:03
said these are things like if you’re crying when you do say these things and if your brain is going what the hell you
1:31:09
don’t you don’t like to kind you hate me like that’s actually part of this like that’s actually part of the process is
1:31:16
your brain going and you consciously while you’re saying i don’t believe this stuff just keep saying it
1:31:22
what you say is more powerful both to your own self-reflection and your subconscious
1:31:29
than what you think i don’t know why that is it’s really weird and scary
1:31:34
it’s why we’re so easily conned it’s how we’re able to put ourselves into trances it’s how cults are formed but you can
1:31:41
use this brain this little known trait use this one simple rule you can use this brain
1:31:47
therapist actually therapists love this this is what therapists tell you so like when you go to a therapist and tell them that
1:31:54
you’re doing this stuff they’re gonna be like wow okay you’re ahead of the game still keep coming because this is how i make a living but so you
1:32:00
you know uh but yeah i love myself proud of myself it’s the best i i can do uh i
1:32:05
know these moments past like all of that stuff and you keep saying it over and over and you know it’s not say it until
1:32:13
it hurts like you say it and you just keep saying it and you’re going to feel the hurt and it might trigger some stuff but you just keep saying it and
1:32:19
eventually over time like it you start believing it because it’s true it
1:32:25
is true so i i do as i’m talking about this there’s there’s another thing that i think needs
1:32:31
to be addre so there’s it’s actually one and a half things so one of them is actually kind of a part of the gratitude
1:32:37
thing this is the pro i told you this this spike started this conversation off with these i got i got one tip for all
1:32:43
right these three things i got one different thing it’s actually in three parts but it’s
1:32:49
actually but then one of those parts has a half part bonus part
1:32:54
but this is all one thing okay you know what’s funny is like this is
1:32:59
just a personal conversation i i wanted to have with you so i could learn to be better and to to grow and i figured
1:33:06
we’ll take it yeah they’re just here for it so yeah so so then the so
1:33:13
part of the act of gratitude is you want to create things that you’re grateful for
1:33:18
right or and and celebrate the things that you’re grateful for this is tougher for some than than for others
1:33:25
start i want all of you to start having little mini celebrations
1:33:30
uh for even the smallest accomplishments that you make obviously for the big
1:33:36
stuff right some people don’t even celebrate that but even just for the smallest things who you know do you play
1:33:42
and some of you might play like these like online like phone app video games and stuff and
1:33:48
they become addictive do you know why they’re addictive because they start where you get a million billion bonus points or 3 000
1:33:54
gems or you know a golden scimitar for like logging in for the first time
1:34:00
like just literally open open the thing and boom you’ve leveled up like i just i just i haven’t
1:34:07
even created an account okay create your account okay my name is boom you’ve let level two and it’s like what the okay
1:34:12
all right good okay now step three steps to the right okay boom level three like and so it starts off where you’re just
1:34:19
getting all this stuff and it lets you press more stuff and click more things and do more things right and it’s a compelling storyline but you you do the
1:34:25
stuff and you keep leveling up and it eventually reaches a point there’s more and more time between each step
1:34:32
and more and more stuff you have to do but it starts with like boom boom boom boom and it eventually reaches the point
1:34:38
where some people are spending days weeks hours every day to level up to the next
1:34:45
step the reason it’s like that is because they’ve taken a very powerful tool and
1:34:51
like used it to trigger an addiction in you so we’re gonna do a thing that’s
1:34:57
actually the opposite of that we’re gonna use that same concept but in a way that’s actually positive and isn’t a
1:35:02
time suck for the rest of your life so here’s that concept your mind
1:35:08
likes and gets a hit of dopamine or oxytocin i always confuse them gets a hit of the
1:35:14
good good chemicals the good brain juice from just the act of acknowledgment of some
1:35:21
kind of accomplishment and it’s weird that we don’t do this more often it’s why we celebrate birthdays it’s why we
1:35:27
have celebrations it’s like hey this thing happened now you have the big celebrations for your
1:35:34
big anniversaries your your birthday your i actually don’t even do big celebrations for my birthday um that’s
1:35:40
one of the few things i don’t but like for holidays for all this stuff but you can have little mini
1:35:45
celebrations so for example uh you might uh throw a a small party if you get a promotion or a
1:35:52
big contract or something but what if you uh you know take yourself or a loved one out to do
1:35:58
something that you enjoy um you know something healthy that you enjoy um to celebrate that like
1:36:06
you finished a a project that you’ve been working on for the last couple days or you finally wrote out that what’s
1:36:12
that i’ve read my first book yeah it could it could be it could be i
1:36:17
just read this book it could be just as simple as uh i read this book and uh and
1:36:23
i’ve been working on it it could be as simple as um and especially like if you i don’t have kids but if you have kids
1:36:28
and they’ve done something uh you know uh even relatively small you have a little uh you know a celebration of it
1:36:35
you know and and by doing these and you don’t they don’t have to be these big over-the-top you know parties with cake
1:36:40
and balloons and you invite everyone you know it could be as simple as something like um so my daughter on this one my
1:36:46
daughter she okay playing softball and we were like hit the ball to the outfield we’ll go to
1:36:51
ice cream afterwards you know just small manageable things where she does her
1:36:56
best and she hits it she gets into the outfield we go and celebrate if she doesn’t perfect exactly we talk about
1:37:02
things and we we help develop in those and yeah sure enough it’s it’s we’re not saying go hit a home run go hit a grand
1:37:08
slam where it’s like you have to be in the perfect thing you just make small manageable things that hey
1:37:14
make it make it out make a catch stop the ball things like that small things celebrate them
1:37:20
yes and it’s an open-ended thing it’s not if you don’t hit out’s field today
1:37:25
you’re not going it’s whenever you hit outfield today the next time whatever we’re gonna go out and celebrate that
1:37:30
yeah and you can do that with so many things start gamifying your life
1:37:35
if you can and and these celebrations could be go out for ice cream go out bowling uh you
1:37:42
know one thing that i use is and this is this will show you how torturing i am to myself i’ve really come to appreciate
1:37:49
and enjoy uh exercise so much so that i will find that i will exercise in a way to avoid doing other
1:37:55
stuff that i have to do and so i will i will so it’s like i can’t i gotta make these gains and it’s like okay but
1:38:02
that’s healthy but now it’s kind of an avoidance thing so i’d like all right well then you know swimming at the
1:38:07
swimming in the ocean you know doing your workouts uh you can use this as a little mini celebration
1:38:14
so i will do throughout the day i’ll do like okay you’ve got to make this video uh
1:38:20
about abortion after you get off the show with jason because you said you’d do it earlier in the week but then you
1:38:25
had to go on tim cast it kind of made it pushed it back but you got to do it because you said you would and it’s important because everyone else is wrong
1:38:32
and so that i’m just giving you a hypothetical and uh so when i do that after i do that then i’ll do my
1:38:38
exercises for the night okay so before you move on yes i here’s my dopamine head here’s
1:38:46
where i get the most dopamine i don’t you might hate me for this i don’t follow you nearly as much as i probably
1:38:53
should be because oh that’s because you are right on a lot of things but i i love it when um
1:39:00
i make a comment on something i make a statement on something i make a a view a perspective and then i make it and then
1:39:06
here comes spike six days later making a very similar
1:39:13
comment uh that’s my dopamine hit there we go i i need to go celebrate so i’m gonna go throw some salmon into the
1:39:20
garbage can uh that’s there you go wow celebration oh so you celebrate by
1:39:25
ruining good things by destroying destroying nature’s bounty
1:39:32
by make by mocking god’s creation that’s how you celebrate is through satan worship i eat good food
1:39:38
so i well apparently not because you throw it in the trash so you you celebrate by
1:39:44
worshiping the devil um that’s a thing that’s a way to do that i
1:39:49
would argue that you don’t feed into evil but that’s me uh no judgment um but
1:39:56
no you can make little like mini celebrations and it could be as small like i do it like on a granular level
1:40:01
like oh man i finally sent out that email that’s just been bugging me to send out uh i’m gonna go do a set of
1:40:07
curls or i’m gonna go uh you know take a walk around the neighborhood um and make a phone call to someone that i haven’t
1:40:13
talked to in a while and just having a cool conversation like i do that but then you can do it to the next level of
1:40:18
like especially especially if you have kids like i don’t think about this a lot because i don’t have kids but if you
1:40:23
have kids teach them this stuff like and and t like and and
1:40:28
also like your kids the end of the day maybe that can be part of this is like hey you know what were three things you
1:40:34
were grateful for today like at the end of the night like you get them into this stuff where it’s like a natural thing where they don’t have
1:40:40
some you know schmuck telling them on a podcast to do it you know in their 30s or 40s or
1:40:45
whatever like you know it’s like an intuitive natural thing they do right so um but so it’s it’s uh so doing that
1:40:53
celebration and what happens is you’re actually feeding into the gratitude that will inherently be one of the things
1:40:59
that you write down that day i accomplished this thing and had a really fun you know mini party i took my my you
1:41:04
know friend out my girlfriend my wife my husband my whatever uh you know uh went
1:41:10
on a uh took my dog to the dog park after i did this cool thing like you you actually that adds to your list of
1:41:16
things and you’re accomplishing stuff right yeah and it’s just it’s and in all of these things uh be
1:41:22
[Music] enjoy the journey this is not about a destination there is no destination one
1:41:29
day you’re conscious be having never been conscious before in your life and then you have this journey
1:41:36
that you go through and then one day you’re not conscious okay that’s life all right
1:41:41
there is no destination and by the way this is whether you’re religious not religious whatever okay if you’re a believer that you have an immortal soul
1:41:48
and you go to a fight then that’s your spiritual journey and that’s what you but i’m talking about the mortal life
1:41:53
that you have here yeah eventually you’re gone and whether you are a you’re
1:42:01
a believer in an abrahamic religion so you have this like you know what what your eternal soul does whether you’re a believer in an east more eastern uh
1:42:08
uh eastern uh religious spiritual belief that uh you know it’s a cycle of birth
1:42:13
and death uh that you’re that you’re on whether you’re a believer in in the uh the new mythology of the uncaring
1:42:19
mechanical world that somehow just created you a caring and person looking for fulfillment that
1:42:25
totally seems possible uh if you’re part of that new uh that new religious belief system uh then uh you then then
1:42:33
that’s also true of this yeah one day you’re conscious you go through a period of consciousness uh and then you’re not
1:42:39
conscious and so in all things instead of trying to get to the end whatever the end is there is no the end it is you are
1:42:45
on a constant series of moments in your state in your in your period of consciousness however long it lasts
1:42:52
right and during that enjoy the journey itself that becomes the thing your destination
1:42:59
is actually just a series of journeys and so and all these things you’re doing you don’t write down your things that
1:43:06
you’re grateful for today because i want to try to do this you’re enjoying the things that you were grateful for today
1:43:11
those other things will come naturally you’re celebrating because you’re celebrating those other things that will come from it come naturally i’m telling
1:43:17
you what happens as a result of it but that’s not why you’re doing it you’re doing it because in that moment that’s a rewarding and and good thing when you’re
1:43:24
having a bad moment you say those things to yourself because they do they do actually help in that moment they will
1:43:29
help even more in the future but they help even in that moment yep in all things your mantra can be
1:43:36
and in all in all ways that you manifest what you do how you think all of these
1:43:41
ideas of what you’re doing the underlying idea is that you are constantly telling yourself maybe even
1:43:47
by in verbally but you are manifesting to yourself that
1:43:52
you are loving your awareness you are loving yourself you are loving this
1:43:58
moment of consciousness however long it lasts and you are manifesting that in what you do for yourself and how you
1:44:05
treat others and that’s that’s if you do that and stay grounded in that you will
1:44:10
not only live as happy a life as you can you will not only likely have much more success in life but as you go along in
1:44:18
your journey you will have much more peace and it will be
1:44:24
it’s not this thing you are getting to it’s right now and then right now
1:44:31
and then right now and then right now it is that’s that’s how it is um
1:44:38
many of us and i’m still like this uh are on this constant journey with a
1:44:43
goal like i’ve started you were the power i have these these big goals and it can be very easy
1:44:49
as you go along and as that list of things you wanted to do become more granular and detailed so it builds out
1:44:55
all the stuff you have to do it can look like you’re taking steps back and that is why it is important to celebrate your victories along the way
1:45:02
but also to be in the moment at all times wow i am here this is great or wow
1:45:08
i am here what a challenge this is i’m gonna do this if you do that
1:45:14
then it becomes you become more present and more mindful which means that
1:45:20
eventually you become uh you you’re able to process things with more peace and
1:45:25
with more rationality and in a more positive way um and and be more present in the in the present now
1:45:33
that’s all you’re thinking stuff the last thing i want to i want to talk about the last part of this one thing
1:45:41
is i think we talked about this on the clubhouse
1:45:48
if you look at the standard american diet yeah we do even as it’s recommended by
1:45:55
the fda and the usda but then especially when you look at what the standard american diet actually
1:46:01
is for the average american well first of all it’s not easy it’s not hard to see why
1:46:07
rates of things like uh you know heart problems and diabetes and all that other stuff is going through the roof
1:46:13
but specific to this conversation you are eating depression
1:46:21
like that your diet of you know red red bull chicken tenders and ding
1:46:27
dongs is uh is is you you’re i’m offended it’s like like seriously like you are eating
1:46:36
let’s talk about what the average american eats okay
1:46:41
lots of refined sugars lots of refined grains and when i say grains i don’t mean a you know whole
1:46:48
grain you know uh some couscous or quinoa in a salad i’m talking like
1:46:53
freaking like it fluffy flour with sugar in it okay i know what you eat i know what you’ve
1:47:00
i’ve seen what make you people cheer okay refined sugars
1:47:07
industrial salts that they you know sodium everything sodium chlorinate sodium gluconate like like basically
1:47:15
industrial sodiums that they’ve decided are safe for generally recognize this gras that’s the fda term generally
1:47:22
recognize generally recognize and say we’re pretty sure you won’t die directly from eating
1:47:27
this in the moment that you eat it or within the next two hours that’s the kind of stuff that they got
1:47:33
you eating out here refined sugars industrial sodium refined uh um
1:47:39
refined grains way too many carbs uh uh uh uh unhealthy fats omega sixes omega
1:47:47
nines way way too good after the carbs going after the carbs get
1:47:53
so we need the pasta fazool all right you you you over here wait wait wait wait wait i’m not saying
1:48:00
never eat this stuff now i’ve chosen never to eat this stuff and that started with my ms journey so do you know when
1:48:06
my depression but the worst part of my depression and anxiety ended
1:48:11
when i went on this really radical diet change where i went into this like first
1:48:16
it was like a paleo-keto diet and then i transitioned into a into like a more of a pescetarian paleo diet
1:48:23
but when i removed refined sugars refined grains and eventually just grains in general i
1:48:29
i occasionally have rice or couscous or something like that but very rarely uh refined sugars refined grains industrial
1:48:36
salt sodium vegetable and seed oils except for olive
1:48:41
oil and coconut oil but all the other ones get rid of the freaking uh canola oil not crap uh and uh and and and
1:48:50
really trying to limit get as little omega-6s as possible and as many omega-3s as possible all of a
1:48:56
sudden i didn’t have mood swings throughout the day i didn’t like or i did but they weren’t anywhere like they
1:49:02
used to be and i wasn’t depressed even though i was going through this really severe thing with my ms and i wasn’t
1:49:08
like i mean at that time i was getting like a relapse every other month and yet i was in a way better mood than i was two years before when i you know didn’t
1:49:15
have any of that i’m like what’s this about when you were talking about all this stuff it was like you know we
1:49:20
talked about what the average american diet is and and the worst thing about this right is you have all these foods that people are piling on and they’re
1:49:26
washing it down with these sodas and then when you come along and and you have people that have
1:49:34
cared about what they eat right i count the milligrams of caffeine i i drink in a day i count you know the
1:49:41
sugars i count the sodium i don’t care that much about the sodium because i eat way too much ramen but i love it um
1:49:48
but like you know i i look at these things and i i sit there and i portion them out and then people will be like wow you’re
1:49:54
drinking you know uh occasionally i’ll have a bang energy drink if i hadn’t sleep very well the the night before
1:49:59
it’s got b12 it’s the healthier energy drink i’m like right right it’s 400 milligrams so it’s a lot but
1:50:06
what have you but when people look at my my normal drinking diet of water occasionally
1:50:12
having a cup of coffee they’re like where’s the soda where you’re a southern
1:50:17
boy where’s the sweet tea you know you you got to have the spoon standing up in the sweet tea or it’s not sweet tea
1:50:24
you know the standard the normal is so incredibly unhealthy for people and then
1:50:30
they they look at they look at me and they’re like you eat like sixteen hundred two thousand twenty six hundred
1:50:36
calories in a day how do you maintain this weight and it’s like it’s decent food that i’m eating i’m washing it down
1:50:42
with water i’m i’m i’m not piling the stuff into my body making my body work in overtime and then
1:50:49
going while my body’s working in overtime why is my brain working in overtime and if my brain and my body are
1:50:54
both working in overtime why why does my sweat stink so bad you know there’s so many things that change
1:51:01
about your life when you when you just think about your diet and you you change these things yeah which also affects
1:51:07
your mood i mean your mood my mood was directly affected by the fact that i was no longer getting these huge carb hits
1:51:13
and then the carb crashes and then i’m now eating more to get that carb hit again not even realizing what i’m doing
1:51:19
i’m now much more steady because of the types of foods that i’m eating and i’m and i and that directly affects you in a
1:51:26
way that you don’t even realize um when i say you’re eating depression you’re eating the conditions for depression but
1:51:31
then you also get like the the ancillary and indirect effects so like for example when you start eating better
1:51:37
like you’re healthier and you might lose some weight and you might be a little bit more fit and you might have more
1:51:42
energy and that makes you feel better like you’re like wow i lost a couple pounds oh wow i uh
1:51:48
i i feel like i have more energy today and i’m not as tired all that stuff both directly and indirectly affects how you
1:51:55
feel like and and now i’ve taken it to an extreme i’m an extremist i i don’t really do
1:52:00
things uh in moderation i i am either a drug addict or i don’t do drugs or i i’m
1:52:06
either it’s completely away from politics or i’m you know no one will accuse bicone of being a moderate no one
1:52:13
yeah i’m not a mod like i’m all i’m either i’m all in or i’m not that’s just me and that and that’s who i am like
1:52:18
that’s how i am and i’m that’s okay um but the uh so but you don’t have to especially if
1:52:25
you don’t have like a autoimmune disease or you know some serious health concern to be concerned about
1:52:30
um you can still have those other things but what’s interesting is um if you generally
1:52:36
eat fruits vegetables uh lean meats like fish like salmon uh
1:52:42
um lean meats um uh nuts seeds obviously any of these
1:52:47
things you’re allergic to don’t have them but like nuts seeds some legumes like beans and stuff like that but
1:52:53
really just try not to have little to no grains uh have little to no uh for most
1:53:00
people you can have dairy autoimmune you really probably shouldn’t have dairy but like you know try to limit the the junk
1:53:07
stuff the process stuff or have on the average day have none of it occasionally have some of it and what you’re gonna
1:53:12
find is uh i know someone who started doing some of these this journey and uh they did the mini celebration and their
1:53:19
mini celebration was they went out and had a had a big mac or a happy meal or chick-fil-a sandwich or something like
1:53:24
that and they ate it and they went yum that was good and then they hated it for the rest of the day like the way that it made them
1:53:31
feel they hated it and they thought that’s not good so that was enjoyable
1:53:37
that’s not enjoyable and so now what they’ll do is like they’ll go and get like
1:53:44
a chick chick-fil-a nugget or something like that or anything of waffle fries
1:53:49
their big thing is chick-fil-a um or a like they won’t even get like a full meal they’ll just get a things they go
1:53:55
oh that tastes good and doesn’t really make them feel that bad afterwards or whatever and that way they got to enjoy
1:54:00
it um but they do it very rarely and they find more and more they don’t even want to do it they’re actually now
1:54:06
looking for healthy foods that taste good because they know it feels good afterwards so it’s interesting what will happen if and again this is the journey
1:54:13
it’s not the destination do not diet try each time that you are deciding what
1:54:18
to eat to make a healthier choice in that moment and then you’ll decide what you want the next time like that’s
1:54:24
that’s how you need to address this this is a journey this is not a a i’m doing this for this period so i could lose
1:54:30
weight and feel better you know what if i eat this
1:54:35
it would be better for me and i’d probably feel better let me do that and if i cook it this way it actually tastes really good okay good oh that was good
1:54:41
wow okay and you know what maybe the next meal i’ll have you know ding dings in hong kong or whatever um and uh
1:54:48
uh that’s uh that’s a uh spike cohen brand uh candies ding dings and hong kongs um
1:54:54
so i wasn’t gonna call you out for it ding dongs and wing wing wings or whatever um but yeah uh wait
1:55:02
it’s a cereal ding-dong’s earlier spike on each team dogs post ding-dongs
1:55:09
and wing-wings uh so yeah so that that’s the stuff i
1:55:14
generally do and if anyone wants to research this kind of stuff moving forward the things i would look at is uh
1:55:22
um active gratitude stoicism cognitive behavioral therapy
1:55:28
um if you want to look into diet probably the most accessible diet out
1:55:34
there that’s similar to what i eat is the mediterranean diet if you’re eating the mediterranean diet you’re probably
1:55:39
going to do really really well i eat a much more restrictive version of that but that’s like a much more accessible like easy to hold on to diet
1:55:47
is the mediterranean diet it’s like a really good one um another thing i would look into
1:55:53
now i say this with a caveat this is all the first thing by the way the first thing
1:56:00
i’m not getting into paragraphs uh another thing that you can look into
1:56:05
is something called taoism and it’s spelled t-a-o not d-a-o-t-a-o-i-s-m
1:56:11
now taoism is
1:56:17
sort of a uh uh adjacent philosophical belief that is adjacent to
1:56:23
buddhism and the reason i’m telling you that is if you are a very devout christian or jew or muslim or whatever
1:56:30
else if you’re looking at taoism there may be things there that you will take and
1:56:36
things that you will leave because of your religious beliefs the part of taoism
1:56:41
that i want you to to take a look at i’m not trying to make people buddhist
1:56:46
or anything like that uh uh i mean if you wanna if you’re looking for something maybe you become a buddhist out of this i don’t know but
1:56:52
what i’m telling you i’m not trying to get you to change your religious faith what taoism teaches
1:56:58
is the dao uh tao the tao uh is chinese i believe
1:57:04
chinese for the way um and taoism teaches an idea of constant presence in the
1:57:10
moment and in having a a perfect balance in all things or coming as close to balance in all
1:57:17
things not going too far this way and not going too far this way and it’s basically a series of i ideas
1:57:24
behind what uh how to get as close to that as possible now the interesting
1:57:31
yes the interesting thing not without going into paragraphs
1:57:36
the interesting thing about taoism is that they say that
1:57:41
uh if you think you know taoism if you think you know what the tao is you don’t
1:57:47
and if you don’t think you know what the tao is you do so it’s one of those things it’s a little thing it’s a little
1:57:53
bit of a mind of a mind screw but it’s interesting to look into because at least even if you don’t dive into taoism
1:58:00
just a you know a 30 000 foot view of the ideas behind taoism are a very
1:58:06
interesting way of looking at how to remove yourself from the drama of your
1:58:11
everyday life and become more of an observer which helps feed into all these other things that you were doing um and
1:58:19
instead of uh being a subject of life you become an
1:58:24
observer of it and uh and it helps you to remain more balanced and it feeds into all the other
1:58:31
things because if when you’re in that really sad moment and you’re telling yourself i love myself i am grateful for
1:58:38
myself and all the things i’m doing if consciously you’re also just sort of this person absorbing this observing
1:58:45
this as opposed to being the subject that’s in the drama of it and you actually take a step back and you’re like wow
1:58:52
depression is intense huh it’s a good thing i know how to say these things to myself
1:58:58
man it’s good you know i i i it’s good knowing that there are these other times that you know that you have better
1:59:03
moments and even just being able to do it that way and really instead of like oh man i’m in
1:59:09
this depression it’s the worst thing oh god i feel like i’m never gonna feel this way if instead you learn it’s not
1:59:15
immediate but over time you learn to be like man this is an intense feeling
1:59:21
you learned that it definitely wouldn’t yeah you learned that it’s not timeless it’s timely that eventually you’ll get
1:59:27
through it yeah it is a moment and you’re like wow this moment is super intense
1:59:33
this is not fun it’s good that i know how to do this stuff it really is a relief you know the idea
1:59:38
behind yin and yang is that they’re the darkness and and the light are a balance to one another it’s it’s in the light
1:59:44
that you are aware of the darkness and in the darkness that you’re aware of the light uh at all moments
1:59:51
even right now this is some of the people are going to hate me for closing on this but but it’s a it’s a
1:59:58
thing to to to realize in this moment right now you were standing sitting here watching this and ever present in your mind is
2:00:05
something that mustn’t happen it must
2:00:11
if it happens it’s all over
2:00:16
like and it’s different for each person it’s that thing that makes ah oh god
2:00:22
and it’s if this happens
2:00:27
it’s all over now here’s the really you’re gonna hate
2:00:32
this even if that thing happens it’s not all over
2:00:40
even if it’s all over for you maybe that thing is like you know dying or something like that
2:00:46
even if that thing happens and it’s all over for you it’s still not all over yeah like existence goes on these
2:00:54
moments go on you just might not be conscious of them anymore but they’re still going on
2:01:00
so yeah no i told you this before that’s the rough stuff man because yeah
2:01:07
that’s the stuff so you know um i hate going into the psychology of this
2:01:13
because this is something that you know people talk about that you know when you have somebody that’s on that cliff and
2:01:19
you go you have kids what are your kids going to do tomorrow
2:01:26
what are your kids going to do next week what are your kids going to do next month and then you cause people to go
2:01:33
i could end the suffering that’s going here but as soon as i end the suffering here it causes more suffering for people
2:01:39
around me when i could have been i could have been a leader in someone else’s life when i could have walked somebody else away from the cliff i have to walk
2:01:47
myself away from this cliff right now to be able to be active in somebody else’s life to be
2:01:52
influential to be an inspiration and everything else and that’s an important thing and it’s good to remember that i do want to say
2:01:59
this without getting into paragraphs um that can’t be the reason
2:02:07
okay so here’s what happens this is what happens no paragraphs this is still sentence one this is i actually don’t
2:02:13
even have sentences this is all one sentence i have to stay here for someone
2:02:19
else cannot be the reason yes because for a
2:02:24
lot of people that only reaches a certain point where it eventually is like
2:02:30
that person will be okay and and and so and no it’s good to have that like
2:02:35
it’s good to have that in your toolkit of like yeah you know what about the people around you take them away in that
2:02:40
moment when when you know they are teetering but it’s one of those things being honest on this and being
2:02:47
transparent you know i’ve been on that cliff and and i said they’ll turn 18 one
2:02:53
day and i’m coming right back to this cliff so between that time now
2:02:59
or between now and then i can’t use that as a justification
2:03:05
because eventually that day is going to come about when i can go no they don’t they don’t need me they’re adults now
2:03:10
they can go off and they can live their own my usefulness is has worn out you can’t
2:03:16
have that that can’t be your use you don’t exist
2:03:22
part of why you’re here involves other people that’s not
2:03:27
why you’re here and i’m going to get pushback on that people no i’m here because i’m a mother i’m here because i’m a [ __ ] no you are a mother you are a
2:03:34
father you are a or a sister you’re a brother you’re a but none of those are
2:03:39
the reason yeah the reason you are here
2:03:45
is because you are here and by the way i’m being religion friendly here like what pretty whatever
2:03:51
your your faith or lack thereof is uh and meanwhile uh the the belief in the uh totally uncaring purposeless and
2:03:58
mechanical world is a faith but whatever um the uh um whatever your faith is
2:04:05
the uh the reason if you distill all of them down the
2:04:10
reason you’re here because you’re here you are it is because it is
2:04:16
and uh and when you look at it that way and the moment that you’re in is that
2:04:21
moment and now it’s another moment and now it’s another moment
2:04:26
and so the and this can sound weird and it can sound like very like
2:04:31
primary uh or very like um basic of like well yeah yeah well not
2:04:37
yeah it’s like very basic of like well yeah i know this moment is this moment and that moment is that moment it’s important to start processing
2:04:43
things this way because a lot of our depression is because we’re so focused on the past and the future
2:04:51
oh man that was so embarrassing when i did that oh my god if i had done that differently can you imagine how much
2:04:56
better things would be right i do that a lot neurotic jew oh my gosh can you admit the first time when i discovered
2:05:02
when i got pre-check when i got tsa pre-check and went through that line in like two minutes and didn’t get searched
2:05:09
or just they walked through a thing and got my bag and went through the other end the first thing i thought was
2:05:16
during the entire campaign you could have just spent 85 bucks and and saved hours hours
2:05:23
every week but you’re such a schmuck that you didn’t do it now how about instead i go
2:05:28
wow i never have to do that again that’s awesome like but that’s what i do like that’s
2:05:34
that’s that’s my thing that’s my that’s my neurotic jewish bugaboo there right so now
2:05:40
but that’s because i’m you know focusing on the past focusing on the future oh my god what if that thing that mustn’t happen
2:05:48
happens or oh man how am i going to be able to do that or oh my gosh
2:05:55
that deadline is coming up if that thing if that deadline isn’t met everything is finished forever or oh my
2:06:03
god my kids are gonna be 18 one day and they aren’t going to need me anymore like all of these things
2:06:09
are you worried about stuff that already happened so there’s nothing you can do
2:06:15
about it and stuff that you don’t even know what’s gonna happen like you have no idea what’s gonna
2:06:20
happen to the you don’t know what’s gonna happen ten seconds from now we have no idea what’s gonna happen we have
2:06:25
a pretty rough approximation about what’s gonna happen but we have no idea what’s gonna happen okay
2:06:30
don’t worry about that don’t worry about that you are here right now be here right now
2:06:36
live in this moment and now live in this moment and now in this moment and there’s a thought okay there was a
2:06:41
thought and now when there’s a moment that thought’s gone there’s another thought there when you start processing things that way and again this takes
2:06:47
practice when you start processing things that way you apply all this stuff and you stop feeding yourself depression
2:06:54
and you do all these things together and when i say feeding yourself i mean the food like feeding yourself depression
2:06:59
through what you say but also feeding yourself literal physical depression juice like once you stop doing these things and once you start implementing
2:07:05
this that journey not only becomes more fulfilling and happier and everything else but you’re just living you’re
2:07:12
actually living now you’re not living you’re not place holding in the future
2:07:19
you’re not a a remnant of of what happened from the past you’re not some like like you know
2:07:25
a burial ground for the things that already happen and you’re not some like placeholder for whatever is going to
2:07:31
happen in the future you are a person fully living in the present moment right now uh
2:07:36
mindful of everything possible and as grateful as you possibly can be and to me that is
2:07:42
that’s the best thing right there and and and that’s and it will manifest itself in how you treat others it will
2:07:48
manifest itself in how you feel about the goody and the bad it you will you will naturally uh be
2:07:55
more uh uh uh motivated you will have more uh fulfillment like all the great things
2:08:01
happen don’t do it for that yeah do it right now for this moment
2:08:06
like that’s focus on that all the other stuff comes i promise that’s incredible hey uh this was an
2:08:13
hour-long episode that’s gone two two hours hours
2:08:20
i i am so for me personally i cannot say this enough
2:08:25
without getting into paragraphs tonight
2:08:30
tonight was so moving for me so influential these are things that you know
2:08:37
you know as you said you’re not perfect on these things you’re you know some of these things you’re batting 300 and you’re you’re a stellar
2:08:44
for for doing that right you’re hall of fame worthy um yep you know i this these are things that
2:08:51
clearly that i’m trying to implement as in the best way possible and trying to move forward trying to continue to
2:08:57
develop myself not just here on the podcast and having an amazing show with you not just for muddy waters media not
2:09:05
just for you know we’re going through a lot of these growths and development and this is why
2:09:10
this was such an important conversation um somebody had asked what the dapper squirrel thing was i will post it up
2:09:16
again um as soon as i kick spike off the zoom uh here in a minute we’ll kick him off the screen he’ll still be in the
2:09:21
zoom i’ll put that back up um he’s mocking you and no one even has that no one even
2:09:27
gets to here oh i really wish that people got to hear
2:09:33
because when i made the dad joke for everyone who missed it the very opening part i did a dad joke spike during the
2:09:40
entire intro song that he couldn’t hear um because i stephen hasn’t gotten on it yet spike is going nope
2:09:47
no show’s over show’s over sorry everyone i am laughing
2:09:53
but um you know so this was this i i love that you give gave the time to
2:10:00
give so much of this topic the well-deserved respect that it needed to break the
2:10:06
stuff down for us i couldn’t thank you enough for this you are going in my book for slot one and two for the day for for
2:10:12
things i’m grateful for uh one for you just coming on two for for giving the respect it’s it’s needed but um i think
2:10:19
technically that’s all one thing but thank you all the same well through one don’t cheat on the list
2:10:24
don’t cheat on the list spike came here he said the thing and then the show ended like it’s like spike
2:10:31
mimicked my flashlight in the background that’s the thing and that that’s that’s that’s 17.
2:10:37
that happened spike cohen exists he came on to my show which i have because i have internet and
2:10:44
uh and the power stayed on and he laughed at the thing that i said about the paragraphs and that’s like 30 things
2:10:52
happen there we go we’re good so um but but i have to
2:10:58
go ahead i just i have to say two more parts of the first part this these are very short
2:11:05
these ones are very short number one of part
2:11:10
these are real these are these are actually like takeaways these are we’ll make a graph of all this stuff later but uh
2:11:18
number one i’m not a guru i’m i am like jason said if you’re back on some of this stuff if you’re batting at baton
2:11:24
300 you’re doing no paragraphs um the [Laughter]
2:11:36
no one’s gonna master this including you okay so do not beat yourself up on it just do
2:11:42
your best each time okay all right like that and that becomes part of your like hey i’m doing my best
2:11:48
and i’m proud of it like this is not about beating this is not about creating new obligations to make yourself pissed
2:11:53
off about when you inevitably don’t always accomplish it this is just a thing that you can do and if you do it
2:11:58
great if you don’t do it you go hey you know i’ll do it next time like that’s treat it this way i’m not creating new obligations it’s not some new regime you
2:12:05
have to do this is just stuff you can do these are new tools that you have the more you do them the better it’s going to be sometimes you don’t do them that’s
2:12:11
fine do it next time so that’s that the other thing i want to tell you is that it is very common that when you first
2:12:17
start getting into this you experience some very acute panic and sadness and
2:12:23
the reason for that is because there are it’s a myriad of different reasons why but they all kind of boil down to you’re
2:12:30
kind of doing this new life experience and your body’s natural reaction to a major disruptive internal changes this
2:12:37
is bad what’s going on okay that’s fine it’s positive it’s a part of this
2:12:44
journey and it is a great opportunity for you to say this is one of those moments i am proud
2:12:50
of myself and everything i’m doing it’s it’s your first chance to actually apply this and start doing the stuff but that
2:12:57
often it doesn’t always come but it often comes and it often comes really early on and that’s perfectly fine
2:13:03
there’s nothing wrong with that that is a natural reaction to or it is a type of natural reaction some people don’t have
2:13:09
it it is a perfectly natural reaction all of this so if you like the first time you start doing this you have like
2:13:14
a panic attack that’s okay it’s it’s actually okay that’s your body that is your body trying to protect you that is
2:13:20
your mind trying to protect you because this is a new thing and it’s like wait whoa this is way different than the other stuff we’ve been doing perfectly
2:13:27
fine lean into it here’s there’s a great you’ve just created an opportunity for yourself to to do yourself talk so that
2:13:34
that was my that’s the only thing i love that i don’t know what that’s like i’m having panic attacks and doing it wrong nope that’s actually you’re doing it
2:13:39
right that last part i mean that’s so important because it’s it’s stress your body is going through stress because of
2:13:45
changes you have positive stresses you have negative stressors we usually hyper focus on the negative ones
2:13:51
but that stress is okay that stress is gonna be there let the stress happen you’re doing the
2:13:56
best you can you’re going to make a positive impact from this spikes spike cohen um you know we have the nards
2:14:03
cohen is has said it’s going to be better go ahead just do it when you work out you’ll feel some like
2:14:09
physical pain afterwards that’s your that’s your muscles uh uh uh breaking down and re-growing or however that
2:14:15
works or the process of that i’m not a i am not a kinesiologist if you can tell
2:14:21
clearly but like that is that’s part of that process right when you grow when you’re when you’re growing up you have
2:14:27
the growing pains this is just a kind of psychological growing pain and it can be painful i mean that the more growth
2:14:34
there is the more that happens which is why also it’s again good to have a therapist but
2:14:39
but this is not that something bad’s happening to you it’s your it’s it’s
2:14:45
really your brain going what is this i need to protect things something my
2:14:50
fight or flight needs to kick in because something’s happening here and i need to protect myself and you can actually say that you can say this is a reaction that
2:14:57
my body’s doing and my mind’s doing because it loves me and wants to protect me and i’m grateful for that like these
2:15:03
are the things you can tell yourself panic attacks are your brain trying to tell you something’s wrong and we got to do something because we got to make it
2:15:09
it’s your brain in a in a less not the best well not the most well-guided way
2:15:14
but it’s just trying to protect you because it cares about you and wants you to get through it and these are the kinds of things you can tell yourself to
2:15:20
get through that’s that that’s it that’s the one thing that you can do the one thing the one
2:15:26
one thing almost one syllable two hour long one
2:15:33
one word really thank you yeah yeah spike i love you man i appreciate you
2:15:40
coming on tonight um absolutely any last one word that you would like to share
2:15:45
with us that’s my purse i don’t know i love you man all right i um i’ll i’ll
2:15:51
see you in a minute let me wrap things up over here actually i do i know i do i do want to say one last final one word
2:15:58
hi everybody i no here’s what i want to say i am proud of you
2:16:03
and this is you too jason i am proud of you i love you i think you are doing your best i am so
2:16:10
grateful for the opportunity to share this with you and i uh can’t wait uh for
2:16:16
you to start experiencing this stuff for yourself and do it as a journey not as a challenge or
2:16:23
as a a series of obligations make it a part of your journey live in the moment
2:16:29
be grateful and and loving of your awareness and i love you and i and i i
2:16:34
uh i i celebrate in advance for for how this will help you i i appreciate that so much all right
2:16:41
everybody please in the honor of spike cohen coming on here and doing all of this let his
2:16:48
the dad joke that he was a part of be a part of every family member
2:16:55
go ahead and share this out now because by the time that people see it
2:17:00
the show will be over and they will be able to see spike cohen be a part of the dad joke you guys have
2:17:05
missed it many of you did now is your opportunity once the show is over you guys can check that out so
2:17:11
please do help out share this out get more people to come see this as this was
2:17:17
one of those incredible conversations uh spike i’ll see you here in a second uh give me one second thank you again man
2:17:23
for hopping on oh right guys that was incredible of course as always um
2:17:30
somebody had asked about the dapper squirrel let me unmess that one up
2:17:35
uh uh spike that’s in your inbox i believe
2:17:40
but this is this is the dapper squirrel shirts that we are pushing off this weekend 30 off this weekend make sure
2:17:48
you guys get on over there uh link is in the description dear person behind me the world is better place is a better
2:17:54
place with you in it with lots of love the person in front of you imagine wearing that around town imagine just
2:18:00
being able to share that out you can see me and my beautiful wife standing up here on the top left
2:18:06
spreading the word and the love that we can to our own communities um head on over to dapper squirrel pick one of
2:18:12
those up show some love show some support but with that guys we will that’ll be
2:18:17
wrapping up muddy waters media for the week um next week come on back make sure you guys are checking in for spike and
2:18:23
match show every uh couple days
2:18:30
i will unmute you i’ll i’ll i’ll let you come back to this no that’s fine it’s huge it’s on uh usually it’s on
2:18:38
tuesdays wednesday or yeah tuesdays wednesdays and saturdays sometimes it’s wednesdays thursdays and saturdays
2:18:45
sometimes it’s just sometimes it’s usually tuesdays and wednesdays for the for the
2:18:51
people that aren’t subscribers but for our subscribers who we also have a
2:18:57
special saturday show that is exponentially better than not only the other two shows but any other crap that
2:19:04
we have on here including this now yeah i know you’re wondering i know what you’re wondering how on earth
2:19:10
can i be a part of this experience of getting the saturday show and it
2:19:15
would and also would it be possible if i’m also subscribing to uh to get like an ad free listening
2:19:22
experience on spotify and anchor and i i know this sounds way over the top
2:19:29
but is it also possible that like because you got some sweet merchandise at the muddy water store at
2:19:35
muddywatersmedia.com no it’s not uh it’s it’s that yeah it
2:19:41
doesn’t work uh moneywatersmedia.com uh
2:19:46
but there any way i could get a discount like if i’m already subscribing i know i’m asking a lot i know i’m asking a lot
2:19:52
but can i get a discount like a ten percent discount percentage like sort of a way i can get a discount well i have some great news for you
2:19:59
not only as a subscriber do you get access to our uh weekly sometimes multiple times a
2:20:06
week exclusive uh subscriber only content not only do
2:20:11
you get that ad free listening experience on anchor and spotify but yes you also
2:20:18
you also get a discount at the money waters media store at moneywatersmedia.com and here’s how you
2:20:23
do it you go to anchor dot fm slash muddy waters slash
2:20:28
subscribe and you become a subscriber today and i know what you’re thinking i mean that sounds great but i’m not uh
2:20:36
money bags i’m not a multi-millionaire and i don’t have the 150 a month that that must obviously cost well i’ve got
2:20:42
great news for you it’s not 150 a month it’s not even 100 a month
2:20:49
nay it’s not even 75 dollars a month it could be 50 a month but it’s not
2:20:56
it’s not and it’s not even 25 a month in fact it’s not even
2:21:01
20 a month we’ve thought about making it 15 a month but it’s not no for only 10
2:21:08
a month you get all of that stuff that i just said
2:21:14
anchor dot fm slash money waters slash subscribe bye everybody
2:21:21
love you guys appreciate you guys all be well be good and we will see you guys next week uh
2:21:27
catch you guys later